i got a whole week to look back on and think about dear diary i went to schoolies last week it was fun and informative i made lots of new friends there were millions of girls and boys everywhere running around enjoying themselves i was on the beach and on the streets handing out red frogs until we were able to actually go in the hotel islander then we made lots of new friends called ben evan anthony and michael and they were jewish boys from a school in sydney i met a girl called chiquita lavinia jorgensen but her friends call her chico she is going to be a sports therapist she is absolutely fabulous there was lots of japanese girls playing volleyball and i talked to them they practiced all day and rode off on their bicycle but were up for some conversation in the meantime i talked to a japanese girl called takato in gloria jeans coffee we had to pretend not to be hotel chaplains while in there because they got too many hc people in there at the same time i made lots of new friends i met some tongans named tania who is offering me the opportunity to audition for mercury nightclub in brisbane as a regular gig for rapping or freestyling the tongans were working on the sound stage i met a lot of people who used to go to my old school ncc northside christian college it used to be northside christian community school but they changed the name when the principal went from female to male we got back today it is fun to be back on base i watched so much television this week because we did not have cable television but we had all the usual stations and that was enough for me i loved going to hotels and i love handing out red frogs one night we worked at the boxing ring where people wore helmets and beat each other up with foam pads there was also this thing called monster balls where people would do zorbing and sumo wrestling but they called it mitchelin man wrestling because they used lots of tyres instead of authentic sumos and they had male and female combatants which would not have been allowed in a traditional japanese tournament it was a wonderful week full of interesting people we did lots of praying and worship times i only went in the swimming pool once and i think i walked in the sea twice but i cant swim in the sea b ecause i will get carried away by a riptide i made lots of new friends on hotel chaplaincy two of them were from melbourne one called jessica and one called mandy they were cool people i did not get to talk to people much it was mostly when i was waiting for dinner or eating my food that i had lots of cool conversations there was a dude called quan but he had never heard of regurgitator he was from nova scotia in canada and his wife is an australian christian clown and his daughter is older than me very much so i met a dude called adam from the solomons on my last day and there was a dude who is doing ywam next year i was encouraged by what i saw happening with peoples lives being changed kids who were once drunken derelicts are now living their lives for jesus christ and they have a hope and a future i love watching music television i probably watched more television this week than i did in all the preceding months of this year up to now it is incredible to think that it has been ten days since i was last here schoolies week was totally awesome i got contacts from a guitarist named corey his sister jessica and their sister rachel who was depressed so she needs prayer and chico gave me her phone numbers and address so i will contact her as soon as i get my pocket money on my time was lina from norway kyle from alaska mikala from texas juliana from germany and me from planet utopia down under i had egg for lunch today i hope all my friends stay in touch with me i wish i had got more emails from people there was so many hc people that became my friends and i know i will never see them again but i am happy because of the new friends i did make we stayed in the paradise sands motel the girls were in the sun tower hotel and the hc meetings were at the focus hotel that is where we got updates and ate our dinner with our new found friends there was lots of beach games every day i only played volleyball once with some dudes from brisbane grammar college in the valley there was chinese and australians at the game my friends dug lots of sandcastles and made tunnels in the sand i talked to people every day mostly i just sat on the steps near the surfers paradise sign and read the bible but i did try to talk to people every day even if just for a little bit and even if i got shut down and nobody wanted to talk to me onetime people t alked to me because they thought i was a reporter and then they were happy when i was not because they thought i was recording their conversations and i told them what i was doing here i gave people lots of poems to girls named kara bianca jessica and the guitarist corey i still have sand in my eyes from the beach i hope i can keep in touch with my friends there was lots of people there schoolies is people in year twelve who leave school and have a party on the beach or wherever to celebrate leaving the confinement of education and life in the real world or so it seems there was a good mix of sober and drunk kids toolies is older people who prey on young folks they gave out green tags to make sure that only people who were of the correct age could drink and smoke and take part in free activities the hotels were jam packed every night we worked with alvin and his team we had julia with us and she told lots of funny jokes we talked to a mormon named manfred and he was a lapsed mormon but still very much a mormon and he was not backing down they were watching merrick and rosso when we entered the room i can only remember things out of the order in which they happened we saw lots of beach parties one night there was a foam party it was all well and good we talked to some army people from beau desert and we had good conversation with them on the first night i dont really talk to people i mostly just see how many red frogs i can get rid of i usually wait for somebody to ask me what im doing here rather than interrupt other peoples conversations i could never find my way down to the beach even though i went last year mikala and juliana and me got lost trying to find the way back to my motel but we got help from a taxi driver who told us the street how to get there and the number of the hotel on the street where i was taking up residence as of last night we left at ten am this morning and arrived sometime after twelve lunchtime we were singing ninety six five songs all the way we did stop to refuel and gerwin and steve had their fair share of meat pies bananas and apples i am not sure if everybody is here yet i think there is still a girls team at surfers paradise because we had to take two trips because there was so many people who wanted to go we didnt get to see disco school much but i did go sit on the sand with christian while candace and kyle were taught surfing by one of his friends my eyes are sore im not tired i just got sand in my eyes it is funny walking on the streets of surfers paradise and we are identified as red frog guys just as last year we were the yellow shirt people we helped out a girl who got drunk because in polish tradition they eat a bite of bread and take a sip of vodka apparently it helps them to drink for longer we met this dude who worshipped dance music and a dude who was a buddhist but he didnt follow the beliefs i met a swimmer from ais named mary and her friend who was obsessed with canadian dollars they call them loonies over there apparently he loved beer but he was underage i met lots of pretty girls but we had to avoid special relationships so i kept my eyes on the clouds and my hands in my pockets to myself we got lots of free soft drink and we had vegetarian sausages and eggs those were the options for our own personal grub supplies our tucker was a staple diet of muesli bars cereal occassionally milk when it was available and lots of cheds which is arnots slang for old cheese cheddar crackers we had to scrounge for toilet paper on many an occassion because it was denied to us so we had to use a box of tissues for a few days but otherwise everything was fine in the big time i cant complain hc gave us free hotels and free food and we got to go to lots of parties and make new friends and my team saw five people become followers of jesus christ i was completely useless my team got me lots of ice chocolates and strawberry milkshakes and many happy returns props go out to them for doing such a wonderful job i just like to hand out red frogs i am no good at evangelism i guess i am still learning how to talk to people it was cool to make new friends i hope some of them get to come here and visit me i would like to see chico again she went to whitesands school she is going to be a sports therapist she is reasonably tall with angel eyes and a beautiful mind and body ok ive said enough god is good all the time schoolies was amazing i had an incredible week god bless love zombie flesh the moon face one ps the funniest thing was seeing the coppers sumo wrestling each other stay away from drugs and alcohol be good to your body you are what you eat red frogs have a laxative effect jesus loves you :)  ¶ 9:02 PM

  dear diary lunch was pizza and other plants and vegetables we watched some more art videos i realised there is an urgency that i must have all my assignments finished before the weekend is over i dont know how to kill time it simply refuses to die we all explained the pictures we did of each other i had some buns and lollies at morning tea i have had two cups of coffee and one cup of tea today and i still cant seem to stay awake for as long as i could possibly wish i went to bed at two am this morning and woke up at five thirty am and then i read the bible until class started all the girls made us wonderful food they played big band music it was interesting background noise we had orange juice with sugar crystals stuck around the edges we had eggs and assorted vegetables for breakfast my special needs were catered for we had a couple from jordan come last night and ramish became a christian my nose is full of boogers i wish this situation could be reversed the world is full of bloggers and i am one of them just a speck in my ocean of sadness these tear drops i bottle only to throw away i will try to call my sista on her birthday yesterday in the park some new people came it is good to make new friends and to establish the start of a beautiful friendship kind of relationship with them i never play sport i just go down to the park until its time to start eating the tucker i am assuming that i have no work duties unless otherwise stated the girls all complimented the boys this morning we watched some more art videos this time about art painters in italy who painted pictures of scenes from jesus life originally based on classical greek mythology and changed to christian saints when the roman government took over christianity as the official state religion the curtains obscure my view of the outside world all my thinking happens inside my head i know i do not do this as often as i should i always forget to wash my hair i hope that i can make new friends every day it takes a lot of convincing if you want to try and shut me up i dont think it is going to happen my belly is full of food i have a cool picture in my possession i dont want to be like the portrait of dorian grey i know that i am pretty vacant like an empty head in a world of beautiful people yeah im the ugly mug just out of camera shot on the table there was a dancing bear and a spoon i shiver and shake when i have had too much coffee to drink these are the side effects of being me it is cool to look at what other people are doing because it gives me ideas and something to talk about i always lose myself inside the world wide web i never know exactly what im doing but this is the kind of simple thing that is easy for me to understand i gave my mortal a tape today i am slow when it comes to encouragment notes these days i think im running low on ideas at the moment things have gone from bad to worse i wish i could kiss the game goodbye i hope to finish all my projects by tonight i need scripture references and plenty of notes the problem is my information is never in the same place at the same time there is laughter coming from downstairs it makes me wonder what might be going on down there my fingers are getting itchy my toes are all spotty i think about what will happen in the future will the world be the same as it is now i think i am running out of room nobody loves me everybody hates me think im gonna eat worms it is hard for me to be open and honest and sincere i think people can tell if i am being heartless if i am being real or just making things up as i go along which is what i am doing most of the time it was hard to talk about god and art and if there are any heroes in the art world today and what it means to make christian art replaced with prophetic art because it has less negative connotations because people life in general wants to put christianity in a box but god always draws outside the lines nobody can tell god to stay in one place god is everywhere at once simultaneously i am full of food until im sick to the stomach i thought i could find peace of mind try to leave this world behind do you ever wonder if there is life on other planets time is ticking i dont know how many years i have left before my time is up today there was an informal welcoming commitee with everybody praying for kate but there was not much time for mad people to get involved i cant hold back the forces of nature anything that can go wrong will go wrong in my life or at least that is the way it seems but experience should teach me that appearances can be deceiving we had to watch art videos that was a whole lot of fun we were very busy i hope my angel gives me something today i am sure they will eventually good things come to those who wait virtue has its own reward i just have to be patient and wait for my ship to come rolling into shore before i get crushed by army tanks planes trains and automobiles i am looking forward to going to schoolies i wish i could be more useful on the telephone i never look out the window when im in the car so i never know where im supposed to go to reach my destination so i find it impossible to find my way back again this is my life the story so far i was born in england in nineteen eighty three my parents are carolyn and bryan my sistas name is rachael i used to have a dog named zoe and we had guinea pigs named ginger and morgan i was baptised and came into the kingdom of god when i was ten years old it was a phenomenal experience it is a blistery blustery day foggy is the weather froggy is my throat police sirens are wailing in the distance refused permission i always forget the combinations to the room upstairs maybe i should get a tatoo some of my friends are getting some but maybe they are only temporary ones nothing lasts forever i hope i do not have lots of girlfriends in lots of places one is more than enough for me to handle at any given time i dont need to be unfaithful i wish i had a regular girlfriend i am not sure if i do or not i thought i did but i wont know until i get some more information it is cool to be able to make friends with the friends of my friends i dont know how love makes me feel is this the way that love is supposed to be is there company in silence does silence still make you feel lonely when you know that there are people at the end of the line who are reading your mind if you reach for the stars can i wake up where you are will the oceans and cities crumble and fall but the word of the lord stand forever i have to stop myself from falling asleep rocking gentle motion like the baby in the bough with the waves lapping tongues on the rocks on my soul sea shore far below me beyond reach of the limits of this galaxy the starlight express is back in the house i need to show the world that there is more than meets the eye there are things nobody is ever going to know about me not because i dont want to reveal my secrets but because i can only remember so much at any given time i think it is possible for art to have some influence from diaries and other forms of entertainment i think there are other people who need to be here so maybe i should go soon smile jesus loves you as the world turns i crash and burn my bottle pocket rocket comes back down to earth god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone you are all wonderful beautiful intelligent people with minds of your own dont be afraid trust believe step out you will find the mystical sirens you seek all the answers to your questions you will find when you look at the version of you in the mirror and pray to god in heaven above looking down in love you have a plan and a purpose you have the power to change the universe more power to you party people keep the faith keep on shining for jesus it wont be long until we see new heavens and new earth god is coming back soon see you all on the dark side of the moon love daniel   ¶ 7:22 PM

  dear diary today is cool we had a speaker called peter woods who talked to us about using christianity in art we saw a lot of pictures some of them were like black and white faces of jesus and the eternity sign and a million different other things some goblins some religious art we talked about art history in england and how all the art got destroyed in turkey so the artists had to no longer do religious art and they did kings and queens instead i had a good day today food was rice and vegetables it was most delicious i am happy today i wish i could be good all the time i dont know if my art gives glory to god but that is what i want to happen even if it is not what neccessarily does occur i woke up at six thirty today same time every day so many people in my dorm room have an alarm clock i gave my mortal a pack of cards i gave tacey my green bandana i hope i can talk to her more later i will stay here for half an hour or until my brain runs out of ideas or until my brain hurts anyway life is beautiful today i fell out the wrong side of bed the sky is full of clouds today i am happy so long as my friends feel the same way there is a spoon and a nikko on the table somebody left headphones behind i am hurting inside my heart dont know what to do with the rest of my life last night we went swimming in rorys pool i had a vegie burger at mcdonalds in the salads plus range of food items as soon as somebody gets off a computer somebody else jumps on instead trains are passing through the station this is the kind of thing that happens everyday my ears are filled with background noise i need a reason to live i need something to aim for the heavens and the earth are dancing and the trees of the field are clapping their hands i waste too much time i am waiting for the morning to come today i am going to drink a lot of coffee and stay up late and work on my sj questions and spend the hours from ten to twelve reading the bible and praying if i dont fall asleep in the process t he sound proof room is a good place to do that today after morning worship we seperated the boys from the girls and we talked about women and our response to them how we were coping with not being able to indulge in special relationships there was a lot of accusations flying in the air a lot of blame game directed towards the disco girls especially but it is not their fault girls wear clothes for comfort not to impress the opposite sex i want to go to heaven when i die sooner or later we all fall down i dont know what to do with all this time on my hands today my angel gave me three happy face pens i have to make a ransom note for my angel or i will just do another encouragement note i dont have enough stuff to give presents every day i did not do so yesterday i guess i could try to get some candy from the machines outside the bookshop on blackwood street i wish i had some loose change but i spent all my money so i have to use old stuff and give it away as presents i cant help it i have to do what i can with what i have been given the resources that are currently available for me to use this is my life i wish i was dead i wish i was an animal then there would be less peer pressure i would probably be the first koala to jump out of my tree i am experiencing many changes in my life nothing will ever be the same again jesus died on the cross for my sins jesus came into the world as a baby jesus mum and dad had to take him to egypt for a couple of years because herod wanted to kill little baby jesus then he grew up to be a carpenter then a teacher and a prophet and my lord and saviour and your saviour who died for all the sins of the world and the temple veil was torn in half and there was a black sky and all gloom and doom washed away i met a girl once who could see blood on peoples foreheads there was a dude who told me he was full of demons my life is weird and wonderful i saw glowing skeletons once outside a church where my dad talked about pomegranates i saw my dog at the top of the stairs in a hallucination or maybe it was the ghost dog of somebody who used to live at my old house i dont know how to talk to girls except for giving them questions and compliments i wish i still had a pet we are pets for the aliens i will try to call my sista on her birthday even if i have to beg money for a phone call off my friends who cares about laundry when you can do hand washing instead good things come to those who wait virtue has its own reward i am full of old wives tails today like an alien with a snake in my mouth like a symbiotic connection between life and death like we are all born to die so when you roll the dice you may as well roll over and accept your fate when we pretend to be dead i dont have any presents for my mortal i have to use what i have because i dont have much to offer i think my band is ambivalent about me they dont love me they dont hate me they just tolerate me i love speaking in third person and speaking in funny high pitched voices as if i am an alien from another planet or a robot that is t he work of mans hands broken and restless wandering the landscape of memory in the concrete jungle i lay down my burdens at the foot of the cross soon we will all be celebrating christmas past present and future i dont have much time left time is ticking away i keep on making spelling mistakes i can never get it right want to dance in the garden of earthly delight i have to be super careful now because i dont want to get my friends and family offended with anything i might say here in this safe places i feel as if i am being watched all the time until i go away and forget about the satellites in the sky the eyes in the clouds that follow me around and the disturbing turbulence caused by all the voices in my head i hope that i am full of inspiration today the best thing is to get on as soon as somebody else gets off i want to fly high in the sky pigs might fly i am reading readers digest still i gave mikala a picture of giraffes i hope mum and dad dont mind i am sad in my soul i am talking to myself because nobody else will talk to me this is good today i am thinking about things that have already happened and what will occur in the future where will we go from here i want to go to solomon islands next year but this year we are going to papua new guinea my friend jon got a pidgin bible i am happy today the sky is full of clouds today i never know how to deal with my problems i dont know how to express myself i have eyes at the back of my head i wish i could fly to the moon and back today is never going to end when i embarass myself i wish a hole could open in the ground and swallow me up i wish i could do good things all the time happy are the souls that lie in wait like dormant volcanoes waiting to go up in smoke i am crazy today my mind is warped my head is empty i had to sing baa baa black sheep for bobby from his angel which is leah i am running with scissors in my hand i wish i could pick my spots and make them bleed so i could cover them up with bandages lamas love to spit in my face i love to paint pictures i did some last night before my group went to rorys house she wrote some books about god there was pictures on the walls and some kind of video presentation i was wallowing in self pity i am weary of this world rough and ready about to burn in flames i hear voices in my head i am sick of rules and regulations i will leave as soon as this becomes no longer interesting i took some law into my own hands today i love to sing silly songs at the top of my lungs it is fun to help people but i think i cause more problems that i solve the cure is worse than the disease the sky is happy when the rain is pouring down cats and dogs on my head sooner or later we all become part of the furniture climbing up and down the stairs i love to mumble and grumble under my breath some times clocks take so long to go tick tock i wish i was a jet plane flying over the mountains and sea so i can see my friends again people will want to use this soon i had better get down and out the door before i get kicked off the computer no i am just making up excuses i will come back here later but i feel so brain dead today beautiful and intelligent creatures from another planet in this room i want to know what is in their heads i can look but i cant touch i am carrying my cross over a sea of broken bottles dear friends i will see you again when today becomes tomorrow i tried to drown my sorrows but they pulled me in the water and i got stuck in the muck of my existence god bless love daniel aka zombiefleshthemoonfaceone  ¶ 8:01 PM

  dear diary today we prayed for muslims in syria my nose is itchy this week jim is teaching us about evangelism last night we watched a video about the same topic lunch was vegetable burgers breakfast was non existent i never eat the most important meal of the day unless im home for the holidays so i woke up in the morning rubbed the sleep out of my eyes we are going to rory jenkins house at five but first we are getting dinner from mac donalds and we are to take our bikinis and board shorts because we are going swimming in her pool we had to share our testimonies i wish i could make a full time commitment to god we had to practice doing our testimonies in a couple of seconds life is beautiful i am happy today i am reading readers digest still not finished with it i have to find out how i was converted the second time round i have run out of money i gave my mortal a jesus to the rescue t shirt i gave five dollars to ramish my stomach is full of food i am hungry and thirsty at the same time i hope that i will be able to go to the shops next week mum was trying to get through to the office i talked to her for a couple of seconds i told erica to phone her up i got an encouragement note from sienna and my angel gave me lindt lindor white chocolate i couldnt stop eating them they just melted in my mouth on my tongue i hope i go to heaven when i die i heard josh playing banjo practicing downstairs luckily i dont have to do washing dishes this week i think we might be doing schoolies in byron bay im not sure exactly where we are going or what our destination will be i am hungry for love i am thirsty for living waters i cant stay awake in class i was sitting on a wobbly chair so i kept on falling asleep because i was lying with my head on the table to try and get some balance i need to spend less time speaking and more time listening to what people have to say my angel gave me some paper in a green pad i am going to write in it after dinner tonight i need to do my questions for my school journal or spiritual journey depending on how you look at it sooner or later we will have to go out tonight it wont be long until we are all dead and gone i wish my band had more time to practice i hope they tell me i dont want to be out of t he loop i want to be included as part of the creative process i know i still have a long way to go i am weary of this world i wish my skin was not so itchy i guess t he chances of getting spare paper is not going to happen i wish i had not spent all my money on the same day i got it but that is what i always do i told my dad he could establish a link to this website as long as he does not post blogs on my website just so people can distinguish between us but i hope i get some emails from home dad is in adelaide until wednesday i hope my friends will lend me money to go to internet cafes next week so i can keep up to date for family and friends sake at least i have a reason to do t his every day i am constantly thinking of yesterday only lauren and me showed up for devotions this morning but we still had a good time praying and talking about god i am happy today i hope that i can get some free food tonight i am running around all over the place i will try to give people encouragement notes and to be fair and even handed it is hard for me to think of compliments to be sincere and avoid flattery it is easy for me to be insincere and over the top i take extreme measures i get ideas from all over the place this is my world and i can live my life the way i choose as long as i dont make jesus cry i am alive and breathing the world keeps on turning no matter what happens sooner or later we all fall down i will do this until three pm at the moment i am t hinking about today and how today will b ecome tomorrow eventually i talked to ashley and nikki they were having a tim tam slam we discussed t he merits of hurley skateboard clothing company and dashboard confessional and what does it mean to be a poser i think a poser is somebody who poses as somebody they are not to put it simply but it can just be a term supplied out of jealousy without any proof or sustainable evidence i love to take the goose and run with it i love my parents they are the best i hope i can see tomorrow with a smile on my face i am going to stay awake all weekend long because i am allowed to watch television on the weekends and i have not seen rage in such a long time except for when i go home but never here i wonder what movie we will be watching on the weekend i should not live for weekends at the moment we are learning how to evangelise it is not easy i know i have to open my mouth and pray for peoples wants and needs but i dont know how to initiate a conversation or how to get people talking about god we are supposed to look for interest doors which means stuff people like and we can somehow bring it back to the meaning of life and the mystery of eternity like how can god be everywhere at once i love to read books i love to waste time i was singing tainted love earlier and i was trying to do i wonder if heavens got a ghetto but i couldnt remember the verses to go with the chorus which is always an essential ingredient i like the fact that everybody gets to talk to each other at morning tea time community life could not be better than it already is my nose is dry i hope we get practice time today fingers crossed that is actually going to happen i have trouble staying awake in class i try to copy down as many notes as possible before i fall asleep i hope i can get some cool tips on how to do street evangelism i know red frogs and green frogs gets you access to hotels i hope mum had no problems getting through to the office i did not fully understand what she wanted i think she was calling to get me some rent assistance i think soon i will have to get off the computer not because anybody is making me but because of biological urges because i need to go to the toilet but i can put it off if i keep on shuffling my feet i am trying to post blogs every day if at all possible to satisfy my constant craving for the virtual world today somebody is rattling coins inside a jar it is a musical journey through the landscape of memory today is as good as it gets i drank coffee and milo and tea all within the space of half a day i am all filled up with liquid and for good reason time is ticking dont know how much i have left the trains are passing through t he station i dont think anybody cares if i am dead or alive but i dont let that kind of thing bother me it is good to have girls who i can be friends with without feeling the need to pursue a relationship i hope that everybody in this place today manages to accomplish all the things which they hope to acheive life is beautiful the world is full of people some of them are good some bad but all of them make up the flavours of the world i use manipulation as emotional blackmail i hope that mum and dad love my sista same as they love me i am sure that they do there is nothing to worry about oh i am so blind i cant see the wood for the trees what would i know what right do i have to make a judgement call anyway i went home for the weekend it was a lot of fun i did not do much today or last night i like to do lots of sitting and talking to people as they come and go in and out of the student lounge i think my brain is slowing down i like to listen to people talk it is interesting to hear the things they have to say i will not be here for much longer it is suprising how quickly t ime flies when you are having fun the lights are very bright today becomes tonight eventually i dont know how to lose control i need to find some peace of mind i dont know how to get people to look at my stuff without revealing my user name and password so i just tell my closest friends only the people t hat i trust with my life like i would not be afraid to meet them down a back alley in the shadowlands i feel itchy today and i feel scratchy tomorrow i watch television only on the weekends or the movies they make us watch and teach us lessons when its over i think the dancers and artists will b e busy today the musicians are taking a well earned r est whether that statement i just made is true is debatable but everything is if you are determined to have the last word i am no good when it comes to evangelism i dont think i will ever be able to talk to people as normal human beings my questions are always too weird for words i hope that i can get my mortal something else because i am broke as a joke maybe i will just make something to be on the safe side because i spent all my money so i cant give any more presents i am thinking of doing an encouragement note like a ransom note and folding it up inside the encouragement box of my mortal i dont know if im giving compliments or insults i really should have a list so i know what statements and questions i have already used i wish i had a better memory of events so when i try to think my mind is not all over the place it is good that i am able to make updates to my blogger when i go home i love my parents i love my family and friends i have to be careful i am on a mission to avoid repetititon i never wanted to make you feel dirty i only want you to feel special as if you are the most important person in the world i wish i would get some mail in my box as well as my encouragement box i hope my mortal got his t shirt im sure he did because gwendy is reliable at delivering stuff she would make an excellent courier someday soon on the dark side of the moon there is a key and a pipe on the desk it is a silver key and the holes are triangular in shape i am alternating weeks between my chinese writing bandana and my tasmania devil shirt i am sure that i may as well crawl into a hole and die my life is meaningless there is no reason for my existence i wish i was better at studying i can never retain information it just goes in one ear and out the other i need to know where does the money go i am running through the streets with my hand in my pockets like a chicken with its head cut off i will only be here for a little bit longer i am sure i will have to go soon anyway jesus loves you i always leave before i am supposed to go i never know how much time has been alloted me i have all my hot drinks downstairs and all my cold drinks inside lecture hall i should not eat chocolate in class but i just help myself this mistaken belief if i slip in the water that i will drown in magic milk is what has led me astray over the hills and far away i need to taste love soft as silk smooth and creamy looking dreamy boat in which i float in the middle of the water i dont know how to deal with my problems i have too many for my mouth to consume in one sitting i am happy today life is good i am happy so long as my friends feel the same way it is going to be a long time before i finally make up my mind i woke up in the morning and the sun was shining in my eyes i was feeling out of the loop because i took off my watch and i woke up worried i lost my watch but it was just up on the shelf i woke up at six am this morning i thought it was eight am so i had a panic attack but i still managed to have devo groups for better or for worse we made it through another morning now i dont know how to kill time this is the life i look outside the box to try and find myself think beyond the square to see the world out there i am afraid of what the future holds thinking iset up a government compound this is all i need to know your name is written in t he stars i am struggling to stay awake i cant have my cake and eat it too my mind is wandering all over the place i was wondering what you were doing right now what are you wearing while you were sleeping i was looking you up and down scrolling on t he screen checking out all those amazing websites that exist just beyond the ozone layer of my subconcious mind an impenetratable force which can only be broken by a kiss from a frog or a head on collission whichever comes first the chicken or the egg do you want me to tell you things that you already know i never had the guts to ask you what your real name is i wish i could stop myself from calling out in class they need a gag to shut me up it takes a lot of force to try and be relevant to todays society then you ask them to convert and they just say that its a matter of opinion and everybody has valid ideas i hate talk show hosts i hate most kinds of vegetables do you ever look to the clouds and wonder if there is life on other planets who is going t o save us now that jesus is coming back now i thought that it was possible to get what you want and go home with a smile on your face so where are all my friends on the other side of t he globe most likely soon i will go downstairs i have no reason to be here i have to stay awake only two more hours before we are going to mcdonalds i cant hardly wait my friends said t hey would buy me a meal that shows me how much they care i hope i can be good to my kids when i am married with children it is hard to remember what i am doing this for i need somebody to love and adore maybe this is the way i like it to be home alone sip my drink today i am going downstairs i am saying my prayers i am pushing an elephant up the stairs and waiting for love to come follow me around i dont know how to win friends and influence people as long as i make new friends every once in a while then i dont care about the end results god bless may god have mercy on your soul may dogs bark up the wrong tree may your life be full of birds and bees may you aim to please and be blessed coming in and going out god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone aka daniel   ¶ 9:01 PM

  so i came back from home and i am here sitting down at the computer talking about my life i had a good weekend it was interesting steve came over we went to morgans on saturday night i had scallops a pineapple fritter battered and spring rolls and chips and lots of sauce my family is doing well so it seems dad is going down to adelaide for three days for a prophecy conference my mum is selling a lot of books and my sista is busy with her beauty therapy business i am trying to be good it is not going to be easy i kind of feel like god is looking over my shoulder i spent fifteen bucks on a shirt for dunstan because he is my mortal i havent got any presents from my angel yet we are doing schoolies next week i sure hope my angel is generous to me i am happy today i came directly from home we dropped dad off at the airport i have a lot of time to type on computer because there is nobody coming upstairs or sitting down waiting to use the computer i put encouragement notes in the slots of all the disco boys and disco girls all the leaders have a leaders meeting at the moment i dont have any meetings we have mad monday we need to work on our journals i will answer all my questions on my question sheet after dinner i saw the matrix revolutions yesterday with steve mum paid for my ticket it was good to see my family again mum helped me to wash my clothes i am too lazy to do it when i am away from home i am a lucky boy to have such a generous family i hope that my sista does not feel sad she should know that mum and dad love us both equally they do not look upon one of us more favourably than the other it is just they think of us more when we are away when my sista was in england my parents talked about how wonderful she is all the time and we all missed her heaps and emailed her as often as we could my sister is my best friend we like to talk to each other while watching television commercials we talk about a lot of things she tells me her problems and i tell her what is going through my head whether it be normal or weird i am supposed to give an encouragement note and a present to my mortal every day so i will just give him plenty of chocolate and lots of ransom notes which say good things in them i had a good weekend we talked to two people on the train one on the way to zilmere and one on the way back the first person was a male with long dredlocks and a goatee who worked as a tiler at goodna he says he is often mistaken for samoan or maori or new zealander but really he doesnt know just that he is from new zealand that is all he told us he had to take the train because he got his license taken off him for speeding we tried to reason with him and talk to him about god but we did not make much progress hopefully we will have better luck next time when he comes to gold coast for schoolies week we prayed for his salvation anyhow church was earlier than i thought it would be so i came there and nobody was there i got my sista some plastic yellow fish for her birthday i hope she likes them i am supposed to call her on her birthday so id better save some money for that purpose on the way back we met a girl named sally who was very beautiful and torres strait islander she was at tafe studying human development i gave her mums card i hope she calls me she was drop dead gorgeous it is fun to meet new people i am happy today i had lasagna for lunch they made a vegetarian friendly version its like dolphin friendly but you dont get caught in any nets i only have an hour and a half to talk i dont think i will spend that long because i am virtually brain dead from lack of sleep i saw the strokes guest programming rage they made some appropiate choices a lot of bands are easy to predict what songs they will pick just because of their type of music but you can never tell sometimes they throw in a few odd gems to satisfy the audience there are big monster trucks driving along the highway i dont know what to do with all this time on my hands dad gave me a notebook to use for lecture notes i was not allowed to take any pads with me so i will have to use paper sparingly or do more time reading and less time writing the curtains are closed so my view of the world outside is significantly obscured by the fact that i cant see outside the window god is good all the time i told my dad my email address and the address of my blogger site i hope i dont get kicked off for that i told my friends from disco last year also i hope they visit my site and get through ok i need to breathe easy my ears are itchy tessa grades me on nails and hygeine she is hard to please maybe because i washed my hair i passed the test today but for the grace of god i dont know we had worship time and public announcements it was nothing too out of the ordinary this is just another lonely day without somebody to love just a vast emptiness stretching off into the distance exploring the landscape of memory i wander lonely as a cloud with no intents or purposes just drifting through time and space i feel so aimless today as if i have no direction no signpost to tell me where im going so conversely i will never know where i come from either i guess i waste too many pads of paper josh from disco found the poems i did for jordan last year i can see why they were not good enough to use in a band i could barely manage to wade through my incoherent scribbling but i will keep them anyway for posteritys sake just so i know what i have already said it is funny how my head spins round in circles and i return to the same themes time after time that is the kind of situation that i just cant seem to avoid i dont think i will stay here for much longer i want to finish reading the latest issue of readers digest we are going to schoolies next week we will be staying in hotel rooms they will give us lots of red and green frogs to hand out to year twelve school leavers only those who deserve it not those who are just hanging around to sleaze off unsuspecting innocents we carry bibles which means we represent a higher purpose but beneath the surface everything is falling apart i make veiled references to the fact that i went home and spilled my secrets i told the carpet how much i loved the flat expanse of velvet goldmine waiting to be blown apart by the right amount of dynamite sometimes i feel so low as if there is no place for me to go except back where i came from i love living in a multicultural suburb i love the feeling of being able to take a shower whenever my skin feels thirsty i took a spa bath on the weekend it was way cool i just dipped my feet in but then i took the plunge and submerged into the shiny depths of my own personal deep blue sea we are going to hit up lots of churches for cash by singing and taking up the collection plate like we sing for our supper then take the money and run another day another dollar closer to going to papua new guinea good news kate arrived today she is from america she was on disco last year as a leader but she is working for hospitality now taking over from chantelle tacey was helping but she went to do acting school for a month but when she comes back she is going to cover the couches and make them look nice i wish i could stowaway in luggage and take a trip to america or canada i miss my friends i dont see them as often as i would like to on the weekend i saw charlie and the chocolate factory which was scary a movie about a boy who wins a golden ticket and ends up owning a chocolate factory after everybody else gets eaten by the candy machines and oompa loompas on a killing spree i also saw almost famous on my own while mum and dad and steve saw lost world i should have spent more time with my parents my friend spent more time with them than me i liked almost famous it was about a dude who became a music journalist at the age of fifteen lost his virginity and went on tour with a band called still water and wrote an interview for rolling stone and fell in love with a girl named penny lane who took her name from the beatles song and his sister was a flight attendant but he only saw her at the end when she said she would take him anywhere so he decided to go back home so his mother and sister could kiss and make up and he could get a good nights sleep in his own bed then the dude that wouldnt let him publish the story because he said it was all lies apologised by accident because he wanted to find penny lane to say sorry because he was engaged to somebody else but she dumped him when she found out he was cheating on her it was a very confusing movie but essentially it was about groupies and music and this dudes hero was lester bangs because he helped him out whenever he got into a fix if i could i would pick all the boogers out of my nose never oily never dry just like peanut butter or dandruff stuck in my hair i am only going to stay here for a little bit longer my fingers are getting tired and somebody else is bound to want to use this computer soon enough tonight we are going to be watching a video about evangelism the lights are bright in the sky today i wrote cool on my hand with eyes in the os and nose and mouth and tongue sticking out of mouth you can tell that im getting tired when i start to talk about stuff like that every day is a good day i count my blessings i love to make encouragement notes especially when i have a big fat pen so i can fill the page with words very quickly there are lots of clouds in the sky they are fluffy puffy white clouds they make you feel good about yourself they make you feel special even if you are just the same as everybody else i think the dust brothers were on the money that was the chemical brothers original name my favourite group of all time is outkast but if andre three thousand becomes an actor then big boi will be high and dry i will have to get the speakerbox and the love below split album it is a double album with each of them having their say on seperate discs i want to get it for christmas it is all i want my sista wants a discman my homegirl lina wants a red dress i dont know what hiroko wants but i will get the kids little plastic toys i have lying around and i have plenty of budget christmas cards i have never used either i am such a cheapskate clone of ebenezer aka scrooge mc duck if my memory serves me well and it never does then i think today was a good day but i hope tomorrow is even better i am happy today think i should take off my jumper i thought it was going to be cold but the weather is hot instead i think i will stay round here for a little bit longer even if i have nothing important to say i started this blog because i wanted to talk to people every day even if i cant see their faces it is good to know that everything i do even the most mundane things like sloppy joes and toilet trips will be recorded in here for all the world to see that is something like a phenomenon i like worship time today was dutch day so we are having dutch food for dinner tonight i suppose my team is on dinner cleanup but i will have to ask them if we are or not i must confess i forgot to roster somebody else to do my job for me i turned to the nearest person and they were a leader and leaders dont do any work unless its spontaneously or voluntarily i cant wait to be a leader and be waited on hand and foot as nubile young rabbits pluck grapes fresh from the vine into my greedy mouth it is easy to be influenced by my ideas from last year i must not allow that event to occur the light is very bright the sky is full of clouds today if you turn the crank you get some gobstoppers goody gumdrops cant hardly wait time is ticking away soon i will be downstairs flipping through the pages of my readers digest i am thinking of a way to sum up my day when it is strictly not yet over in fact my day is happening all the time even when i am sleeping life is still occuring apparently the human body grows during this strange thing we call sleep i did not get any emails today there are lots of cupboards in our rooms i came back and my room was spring cleaned all my junk on my floor had been put into drawers and cupboards people dont understand that i have organised confusion i hope that everybody has a wonderful day i wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year hope you all get lots of presents all you people on the world wide web im only here for one more week it is not likely i will be able to make regular updates at schoolies because we are supposed to be very busy day and night in the morning we will be playing beach games and in the evening we will be doing some evangelising in the streets and in hotel rooms life is good i will be gone soon i will not be here forever time is ticking god is good all the time today i woke up the same time as usual it is hard for me to go to sleep without music steve tried to fix my computer i can use it for typing but the floppy disk part still does not work i am happy today the world keeps on turning i feel like im crashing and burning there are police sirens whistling in the streets i am going to get some chocolate every day for my mortal i hope my friends email me if not i will send them some emails i am always losing the addresses of them my mum and dad are the best parents a boy like me could ever hope to have i count myself among the lucky ones i thank the lord i live in a country where i dont have a job and the government still pays me money i hope my angel gives me stuff but even if he or she does not it doesnt matter so long as i am alive and breathing and there is a possibility of love beyond the hills then the world can keep on turning life goes on with or without me anyway its not all about money and power i just want to keep on moving and grooving we were supposed to have band practice today but the leaders meeting is going to take a while and i dont think anybody feels ready to practice but when we do i know we are going to have an amazingly excellent time and yes i know my english teacher would be turning in their grave at my bad english grammar if it wasnt for the fact that they are still kicking even after all these years i hope to go to heaven when i die i love my sista she is the best sista in the world she does massage cleansing toning moisturising bikini wax eyebrow tints and all that other stuff which females like to get done by professionals i am proud as punch of her because she does singapore airlines hostesses and they are very pretty girls i know because i have packs of cards which pictures of them in various countries around the world just smiling and laughing with each other i am sure they are very deep intelligent ladies too i just have never personally met one apart from on the plane and i was not very sociable when i was younger i am too afraid to talk to people most of the time anyway i would rather send an email than talk on the phone that is just the way i am afraid of confrontation yet still i am attention seeking and i love to make a fool of myself in front of the general public as soon as somebody else gets here who wants to use the computer i will get up out of my chair and hurry and scurry back downstairs like i got a little curry in my belly and a run in my legs i feel as if i have to stay awake all night long i am looking forward to going to schoolies i will go now life goes on jesus loves you god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone aka daniel peace on earth and good will to all men you are all beautiful people   ¶ 10:38 PM

  Daniel
This is Dad

Gotta tell you how much I love you!  ¶ 1:06 AM

  dear diary im back home im about to have eggs with my parents they will be the ones eating the bacon because of my vegetarian beliefs which have nothing to do with hinduism just a girl i used to know and i dont anymore but i got used to not eating meat i can take it or leave it if you know what i mean steve is coming home for the weekend i am happy today that somebody is coming over my house my sista is getting lots of clients still dads church is running fine and mum and dad are selling books still it is the last week of term soon all those school people will be going on schoolies we have schoolies in two weeks but we are doing hotel chaplaincy this year so it wont be as dangerous as being on the streets all the time we will just be handing out red and green frogs in hotel rooms it is good to give thanks to the lord for his mercy endures forever last night i think i had a spiritual breakthrough freddy and laurens prayed for me laurens was possessed by demons but he got delivered a month ago i am happy today my feet still have tinea but i am slowly but surely recovering freddy prayed that i would be able to dance and have fun it is hard to do that sometimes i feel so thick headed as if my brain is full of sludge i guess i am not a good host i am no good at taking care of my friends i hope that i will be able to go to heaven when i die i wrote some mellon collie poems on the computer last night i didnt feel like doing street evangelism i was too depressed i was full of misery i broke down and cried there was a worship circle and i just felt so far from god i felt utterly hopeless but i think even in my despair god is still there and there is still an angel on my shoulder at least i hope so life is good there was a faith in finances conference at ywam today but i didnt go because i wanted to come home this weekend we are having malachi five band practice on monday malachi five update josh is joining our band as our ace banjo player god is good all the time got to go to lunch to eat some food with my folks and my good mate steve nukkin ya bloggers god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone aka daniel   ¶ 4:25 PM

  cream corn makes me puke so does beans and rockmelon i am allergic to flowers and cats and many other things too numerous to mention here i am also accident prone i am lazy with my diary it has been exactly seven days since i last posted a blog entry oh how interesting this boy has a very boring life doesnt he yes i do and can i help it at least we have interesting lecturers i must use more words to describe things that happen to me we have small groups and practice time this afternoon the toasted cheese sandwiches and tomato soup were very tasty tacy is leaving today mark ng is having a birthday party i gave him a pack of aboriginal cards he is in a meeting at the moment anne mieke got her brother bart and his muslim friend behir to come visit for a few days i dont know what i have been doing lately i prefer to look at the past rather than think about the future but a lot has happened between friday and friday i went to church i got a hat for abigail i spent ten dollars on the hat ten dollars on pizza and five dollars on a bag of chips because i got lost trying to find brisbane city church at night i met a girl called lithe who was very pretty she wore a pink tank top and a blue skirt and she had long legs and long reddish brownish hair and she is nineteen and cool and works as a beauty therapist just like my sister does and she lives in samford and i hope i get to see her on the weekend we are going to schoolies in two weeks time i have run out of clean clothes so i have to go home this weekend i woke up at seven thirty this morning lauren and me had devotions on our own there was lots of cool speakers we had a teacher called aunt ella come who has two neices called jessica and rebecca and she prayed for us and some people got anointed with holy spirit power this week craig merriman was speaking about missions and other religions i think i will send away to get a free quran so i can more effectively witness to muslims i hope i see lithe again next week i took lots of photos at church i used up all three rolls of my camera film i went shopping with kate on monday and i got noise magazine and we both got bandanas she got a blue one and i got a green one and they have chinese writing i got her a cooking book as well i gave four dollars to janet to support her return airfare back to australia because she is staffing for beach to bush next year i need money for my flight fees to papua new guinea but im sure it is well under my budget maybe i will get a job in between discipleship training schools i am not planning on getting out of my seat anytime soon lunch was fantastic i meant to get up early because i promised alicia she could have some noproblemos my simpsons chocolate bud cereal when she got off her sugar fast but i didnt wake up in time so i will just give them to her when we finish lectures or when i see her after dinner i hope that i dont have clean up tonight i dont want my very worst fears to come true by speaking them into being so i must avert them before they happen the most frustrating thing about blogging is not knowing who is visiting my site but if chelsea is visiting my site then it is worth keeping up to date for her sake she is my best friend she is doing nursing school in america i hope she has happy holidays if she is reading this she promised me she would visit my site i hope she does because i am going to try to be more positive and less negative in future if my friends are virtually looking over my shoulder it is as if they are in the same room with me if they know what is going on inside my head words have power i must not take them lightly i always want to start a zine i want to do ten copies per month and five hundred pages per issue or maybe it will be a quarterly so i have three months to think up big ideas and transform them into poetry i wish i could talk to my friends in chatrooms i dont get to see them nearly as often as i would like to i love making poems for my friends when i am broke as a joke it is the only way i can express my love for them i was lucky to participate in a tim tam slam last night alicia has hearts on her pajama pants she got given them for valentines day my head is full of thoughts and judgement clouds people are walking around downstairs and upstairs music is playing through speakers this is my objective version of real life which sucks if you dont have an opinion and i do so i want to express myself maybe if i ever figure out how to make comics i will scan them onto a website it would be cool to make a comic about my ywam friends i gave janet a goodbye letter i gave tacey one yesterday i probably got carried away like i always do when it comes to girls and expressing my emotions i want to love god as much as i love girls i want to be a bride of christ i want to change but im still stuck in the blame game i stay the same because i am comfortably numb i am not happy with the way i am there are no excuses for my behaviour but i cant help myself i keep falling into the same trap i think it is because i am not always aware of what i am doing sometimes the things i say or do just seem to happen of their own accord i have friends in high places as well as low places what small group is doing will be a mystery until we all burst through the doors and find out for ourselves last time for outreach team meeting we had scones and fruit bread coated with icing sugar it was tasty and we also had a prayer time for the poor beach to bush people in papua new guinea who got struck by some ill maelstrom but it was not all bad news good things do happen to bad people like me i am still learning from my mistakes and trying not to make them away disco still has no photos so i cant give them encouragement notes without being conspicuous and obvious about it the outside world is completely empty but im sure that situation wont last for long i think the weather will be overcast but i never know for sure today we did our fake things about different countries there was congo sudan yemen indonesia and i think thats it the sky is very cloudy today i dont know what to do with the rest of my life i went without food on tuesday i think it was i am going to call my parents after dinner tonight i hope somebody wants to come over my house this weekend i have to try to call my friends more often i have to go home because in two weeks i will be at schoolies so i wont get the opportunity for quite a while i should make my sister a birthday card because i dont have any presents for her i have to do more than just give her a card though i dont know what else i can do i might buy a t shirt off kyle he is selling them to raise his own outreach fees my team is going to a lot of churches to help mary pay for her school fees and missions money we all need to pay up before next year time is ticking i dont know what to do my eyes are blinking every thirty seconds i think i talk about the opposite sex too much but i hate talking about myself there are no queues so i can take a lot of time with this i have five minutes left i dont think i would be free from madness for long without time i would go crazy i like reading books last night i heard trevors drum and bass album and i listened to some yukmouth thug lord new testament with abby and mark it was a cool experience nobody wants to listen to hip hop so i have to shut myself away and listen to it all by myself i like background noise it helps restore clarity to my dreams and visions i love my friends i hope to be able to see them again soon there are lots of people here constantly little kids are using computers good for them our children are our future maybe i should do something with my time i will try to go here every day in the time between lectures and whatever else comes afterwards every day from now on except on weekends unless i wake up excessively early or i happen to be here dad never lets me use computer except on special occassions and for emails and my computer does not work so maybe i will only be able to post blogs for seven months so id better enjoy it while it lasts actually with all the months i have so far accumulated there has been two months at ywam so far which means we have five months to go before its all over unless i ask my parents for permission to go blogging daily my mum has kept her diary faithfully for many years even before i was born so it is more than twenty years ago last year she said she was giving up and we said if you dont who will chronicle all the high rise apartments and pitfalls full of snakes which make up the complex social structure of our lives i am the infidel that lives in the shadowlands i have to go to small groups or my goose is cooked see you all tomorrow fellow bloggers and creatures of the planet of the superheros in spandex and capes the planet of the apes the sun egg that hatches in the morning sky the moon that glows in my night which i follow around with my eyes the stars that sing to the most high god who made us all brand new god bless you girls and germs peace on earth and good will to all thrift stores god bless loe daniel aka zombiefleshthemoonfaceone   ¶ 8:02 PM

  dear diary life is good there has been a lot of things happening in my life my sister came to visit me last night it was a lot of fun she gave me fifty dollars and a bag full of clothes and banana cake i lost the bag i ate the banana cake so did most of my friends you got to share the love i was going to go up the front if they called for getting prayed for the holy spirit but he prayed for people being born again and people being healed of sickness and people who were backsliding but i didnt hear him mention anything about holy spirit maybe he did and i wasnt listening i made up a song in my head called tear your head off my sisters ex boyfriend had the audacity to show up and he was hugging my sister and i was afraid they were going to get back together but i think she was just hugging him for old times sake and it didnt mean anything i woke up at nine thirty it is ten thirty now so i havent been awake long i got an email from my buddy chelsea she is doing nursing school my friend trevor is singing some songs i got too much wax in my ears i dont know what i did between wednesday and saturday it is a funny kind of life i got the power cosmic i got dandruff in my hair i really should wash my hair i dont know why i dont maybe because i am too lazy to make the effort my evil plan is to stay on the computer until it is time for my band to play we are leaving at two i think apparently there is a battle of the bands in the city huan is playing worship music in the sound proof room i washed up his breakfast bowl i never eat breakfast if i can help it only lunch and dinner unless there are people outside who i can chill out with we have lots of people here at the moment i hope that all my friends will be in the same place at the same time so we can have a big worldwide party vibe happening i had a big fat cup of milo it trickled down my lips those precious drops of life i savoured the taste and never let it go to waste do i take my friends for granted do i treat them mean i like to scare people i like to scream in peoples ears i do good things for people to make up for the bad things i do the nasty tricks i play the evil things i do that get in the way of coming into the holy of holies because i am scum and there is still a lot that i need to learn i dont update this everyday but whenever i can sounds like good enough although i would like to click on old days and be able to get an entry for whatever day i want so this is a completely selfish endeavour yes maybe but i am also doing it for my friends because i love my friends so i must say lots of nice things about them and if there is nasty stuff in here please disregard it because i will make an effort to be good from now on even if i sound boring or cynical i am so tired i can never remember my dreams i think i was fighting a war crawling in the mud and slime i am the creature from the black lagoon sometimes its hard to tell the difference between fact and fiction life is good it feels so nice to be alive and breathing when you roll the dice i did not get any mail today maybe i will go to the shops after lunch but i will not spend all my money in one go i will leave some for next week and some for this week i need to save enough to do the laundry then i am all set although maybe putting some aside for train tickets is also neccessary trevor is playing the didgeridoo enough said god is good all the time i feel like picking my nose but i dont have voice recognition software except at home and that always says the opposite of what im speaking there are trains passing through the station i was cheesed that i didnt get to hear erins speech but i still got some lamingtons and cordial or lemonade from the swarm unveiling there was a few council members t here to get their pictures in the paper i hope that lots of people will attend my funeral i dont know how to spend all this time on my hands it is good when we can play as a band before we go on stage i dont understand the way the world works i hope god gives me lots of positive ideas when i go on stage and rock the house freestyling i have to keep it short and sweet i did some evangelising last night for this indigenous dude called selwyn and his mates but the cops scared them off which was a most unfortunate series of events there is a map of the world on the wall i dont think i have enough to think to stay here for much longer i hope that my email went through i never know what works and what does not i can always think of something to say it is not that hard to come up with thoughts and feelings that express my emotions so im talking about talking and im talking about conversations somebody is coming up the stairs trevor let me in i let candace in i told kerry how to spell propose but josh probably knew just as well but i am a control freak and a busy body and i like to offer my services even when t hey are not asked for and i love to make mountains out of mole hills when i have less than nothing to talk about come a long way baby through the hard t imes and the hood but i still havent changed a nd its still all good ill nana like foxy brown and eve make me go bananas in the sunshine state life is great mate dont know what i am going to do today probably just shout and sing to the king of kings there is an installation here for plug and play capacity swiss girl passed on a message to me i got so many words just trickling through my head nothing in my life ever makes any sense there are clouds in the sky i hope it does not rain im still dealing with too much stress and strain i feel like scratching my hair because it itches i need to stop myself from going on a spending spree just because i got money and thinking about all the stuff i want to buy doesnt help in the slightest i hope i can find some friends to go to brookside with me when i go with them i never seem to have any cash so i just get music magazines and wish i had all the latest aquisitions in t he musical world i got dizzie rascal i love you song in my head at the moment but i cant find it at any local stores so maybe i can order it over the internet i hope that i go to heaven when i die there are yellow pages balancing on the shelf last week we had a missionary from papua new guinea i still need to do some research in that capacity i want to spend a good solid hour typing songs for my friends i dont know who to give them to maybe i should send some to tammy seeing as the last lot did not work it is so hard to keep in touch with my friends when they are on the other side of the globe i hope i am still friends with all these people on mad when this whole thing is over i am happy today the sun is shining even if it might rain soon the rain is good for the farmers but not for us i will be singing with a microphone in one hand and an umbrella in the other i use my hands a lot when i talk i hope we get lots of people come along i feel so redundant i feel as if the rug has been pulled out from under me and i am the elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about i wish i was able to attend full practice sessions if they used me i would but they never do they either want to just practice with just instruments or sing with mark and i am left out of the picture and i am not jealous i just feel betrayed but i hope that they at least let me do freestyling between songs i have been trying to practice my freestyling i am determined to make this work they cant kick me out unless i want to leave it was my choice to do music i am not floating between bands i am staying true to my friends even if they hate me which i know they dont i am just insecure and egotistical at the same time i got a big head floating inside my little one which can cause severe cranial problems im not hating on my band i love t hem heaps there are cars passing by i t hink i will be out of energy soon enough there are girls laughing in the middle distance i wish i knew everybodys name i need to go shopping today before it is too late and the moment has passed me by i wish i knew if people are looking at this or not i do feel the need to express myself every day it would be good to get some confirmation love me or hate me i dont care just talk to me world is anybody out there i am happy that my sister visited me last night she went evangelising we all were singing praise and worship songs in the bus and we were going to march round the walls of brisbane like joshua marched round the walls of jericho i am not sure if i am possessed by demons but if i am i hope that reading the bible will make the blue meanies go away i got the munchies i need to talk less gobble di gook and find some food to eat and cook mobile phones keep on ringing everybody in this room is using computers wish i had extra terrestial life on this planet most of the time im off the planet god is good all the time jesus loves you hello world this is me food for the worms watering my pot plants covered in ants what i do in the name of love and teenage angst i wish i was dead im out of my head life goes on rock the microphone sing some songs god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone aka half breed aka cosmic jester aka ghostwhowalks aka deep think aka denial incarnate aka daniel peace on earth and good will to all men women and children first get out of this world before its too late   ¶ 5:02 PM

  strange love addiction dear diary been a long time since i left you never meant to hurt your feelings but truth is i have nothing to say every night and every day so why do i keep on doing this why do i keep on torturing myself because it gives me satisfaction to know that big brother is watching me that nothing is secret nothing is safe and i have no privacy and if i make myself accountable by having everybody in the whole world having the possibility of knowing what i do all the time then i am less likely to do bad things or maybe it will have the opposite affect and make me more outspoken and more attention seeking than before anyway im just digging myself into a deeper hole this is a fun place where i can express my thoughts and feelings but i must do it more often so i feel less guilty when i dont make regular entries but i will try to remedy that mistake by posting at least once a week if not every day soon i will be gone have i been away too long we have time off until seven thirty tonight we had good lessons in the morning rory jenkins was teaching us this week it was a good thing today i woke up on the wrong side of bed steve and me could not find our fellow devotions group members so he and me joined the group of mary bobby robyn and mark i think that is all forgive me for anybody i missed out i told my family they could read this so maybe i should update more often for their sake so they know all the ups and downs of my disgusting life i am a useless blob floating in outer space everybody today was speaking in tongues and many wonderful things were happening i heard there is a new version of charlie and the chocolate factory i hope it is weird and wonderful it is funny how craig david and r kelly both did albums which reference that movie i am having a fun day today we get lots of time off the reason why i have not made entries for a week is the last time i posted here i went home for the weekend and i met my friends at church my pastors daughter is so beautiful she is big and beautiful she wears green dresses and black dresses and short skirts and she looks lovely she makes me go weak at the knees but she has a boyfriend so i can look but i cant touch so i wont mention her name and there is another girl at church but i dont get to see her much because she is studying at university but she is also gorgeous and good looking she is short and sweet they are both cool girls in their own way and i miss them when i am away from them i gave hiroko a sunshine face sticker but i didnt have anything for lina she gave me some vegetarian pizza the boys showed me how to do the haka in samoan and maori styles of dancing and they were eating a can of corned beef which smelled like dog food today was a wonderful experience but i need to talk about my weekend i went home and i went to church there was a church split this family decided to leave because they were offended at my mum and my dad told them to apologise and he didnt so dad made them leave then we prayed that more people would come to church to make up for those who had stopped coming as of last week i dont know what is happening with my band it is ultimate chaos i cant practice with them they never let me sing it sucks big time they want me to bust rhymes freestyling but they have somebody else to sing with and they dont want nothing to do with me they say it is a rap rock band and they respect my style but they feel it is not compatible with what they want to do so the most i can negotiate for is freestyling between songs because they say i am not a band leader well if i am not a band leader i am going to study real hard and come back as a leader on mad next year even if it kills me and i have to spend half a year repenting for all my dirty deeds i guess i still have a long way to go i want to be good but sometimes it is a constant struggle i love my pastors daughter is so very pretty she makes me sick with love i wish i could spend every hour of every day in her company but i only get to see her once a week i will try to call her on the phone tomorrow i am supposed to call my sister tonight because she is coming to dinner to go to shabbat which is a kind of worship service which we have round here my dad gave me some camera films some noproblemos like simpsons cereal with round chocolate buds i gave some to this swiss girl and she gave me a swiss army knife she is cool all the girls and boys on disco mad and beach to bush are real funky fresh and clean living people i feel isolated because i am a bad boy and not good enough christian i dont have enough christian music i never read christian books only the bible between ad breaks when i go home it is a struggle to remain pure i felt guilty for enjoying a madonna video clip when nofx were guest programming it was fat mike and his wife but i cant remember her name i will get off t he computer soon t here are three or four people which need to use it after me so possibly all this computers will soon be full all the sports dts people are back from malaysia i missed them heaps when they were gone but now they are back in the hood and its all good but i dont know how they are here for how long they are here before they all disappear i am up to my second rap tape i am going to do huan some rap songs in spanish i made a tape of songs for noel but i might have to try again because it sounds more like alternative rap rock and reggae than country music i dont know how to make country music it will be cool when jane comes down under then we can talk every day instead of like every other week whenever i go home there are people singing upstairs i think it is ben and his band it has something to do with silence in the title i like my band but i dont think they like me even though i try to fit in and make rock songs i am just not good enough i will have no friends because i am not anointed and we were told today to watch out who you hang around with oh well life goes on see you soon on the dark side of the moon god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone peace out no doubt you are all cool cats and i love you like the deserts love the rain drops :)  ¶ 8:22 PM