here i am again wondering what im going to do with the rest of my life now im sipping coffee and it tastes like toffee im wandering around the hallways of my brain looking for a way to explain how i lost my train of thought and hopped back on again when my coffee gets cold all my jokes are old and im wasted and ready to blow up in smoke think im going to byron bay today and its going to be so much fun and i never get anything done i packed my bags and im ready to ride or die for all my mad homies now pretty soon i had better get lost before i get kicked off just give me ten or twenty minutes and ill be fine im wasting my time its gonna take a couple of hours to get to mexico city then everythings gonna be fine im gonna make some spanish raps with huan when i get back to good old mitchelton back in the hood and its all good today on the net i looked up amerie and tyra banks and a bunch of lyrics from assorted artists like eminem and dizzie rascal and erykah badu and alicia keys and obie trice now im not going to be here too long i just want to kill time just fill in the blanks while im waiting for this world to start making sense because it never ever made me dollars and cents im twisted and bent look in the mirror and all i see is the reflection of me through other peoples eyes word to the wise im wearing a disguise it took so long to figure out that ill never have enough bullets to kill time i dont trust the way i bust rhymes in god we trust every day i carry the cross im married to the mob like corn on the cob i cant get enough of that old school hip hop stuff theres gonna be a dwarf invasion and everybody better be blazing with the heat of dantes inferno the infinite rhyme spells of a certified psycho i dont know how to express myself any other way but i give my spirit soul and body to the ancient of days el shaddai can you hear my hearts cry jesus is the rock and he rolled my blues away no matter what alleyway i go down garbage in garbage out you are what you eat wash away worry and doubt from your head down to your feet dancing in the street to that crazy beat i dont know what im gonna be doing this week just as well im taking paper and crayons so ill be able to do some doodling in my spare time i hope i get to record some tracks but if i dont i can do it when i get back the very thing i fear worst wont come upon me im covered in boils stuck my head in the soil the best things in life are free so whats the moral of this story and wheres the coral in my gory little details bright and shining diving for pearls got to keep on bumping and grinding reminding me of my responsibilities to keep up a high moral standard fell off my high horse letting nature take its course now im ready and waiting at the prospects salivating incubate my mental state im the enemy of the state having a good time busting rhymes trusting in god to take care of my situation gobble before i go talk in my crazy lingo on the microphone check nervous wreck this mad funky dingo speak of the devil and the devil appears clip my ears with garden shears rip my head off my neck now i saw a little speck in your eye when there was a plank in mine got to burn to shine my bloody valentine i saw what was happening the queens and kings come follow me im mister hanky drowning in the deep blue sea this whirlpool will swallow me whole mind body and soul out of control your little undead friend hungry for brains deal with the stress and strain of so many things that are hard to explain you will find me down the drain slack like crack cocaine got your coke in the brain insane in the membrane go against the grain like im dancing on soul train and im still wearing kabuki masks and speaking through my nose and im still a hairy hillbilly with daggy eighties clothes and ill fill my pockets with bottle rockets electric shock kit try to match wits with the get up kids get down kids get around and break free if your soul is gagged and bound im easy to please when im down on my knees its all about the birds and the bees do you believe in free speech do you practise what you preach now life is a peach like a walk on the beach like a talk from the teach who told me to shut my mouth from the north to the east to the west to the south representing for jesus freaks worldwide open up your ears and clean out your eyes god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone eat your peas and dont forget your toothbrush be good to your body you are what you eat smile jesus loves you all my peeps :)  ¶ 4:30 PM

  dear diary sipping mountain dew thinking of you know who fe divina gracia of course but i have to send photos and i have to go home and i have to remember to use the computer when i go home instead of watching tv or listening to records well i listened to all my records last time i went home so i wont be doing that again freddy and janet have a goodbye party tonight last night i got in trouble for eating the leftovers when mad was supposed to have pizza instead but i had pizza as well as discos dinner oh dear i need to ask forgiveness or put some money in the dinner jar whatever seems to be a more appropiate course of action to take that is what i will do i drank some coffee today now i wonder what to do with my time its been a while since i was here last and not a lot has happened i spent the whole week in my room listening to music and had a few arguments over my choice of music with lots of hip hop and swearing i was tired of the arguments so yesterday i just stuck to rock music which is more popular among the guys in my dorm the solomon islands and disco people are back today i cant hardly wait to hear all their stories the china team is back today also it will be nice to talk to them again the new disco team is going to byron bay for two weeks so we will probably see them down there next week when we are recording albums in ballina i need to pack away all my stuff apparently when we get back we will be sleeping in the prayer room because the new beach to bush school which gets back today will be using our rooms to sleep in except we are letting them use the spare beds that nobody is using in our room my bogus meal consisted of sweet corn and mashed potatos on outreach i learned the difference between sweet corn and field corn trust me sweet corn is much better than hard old field corn but beggars cant be choosers and overseas you take what you can get i talked to some of the solomon islands disco team but i havent spoken to all of them yet i havent done much this week ive been fat and lazy all my friends are exercising and doing push ups its weird to be eating food again i think next month i will fast for forty days if my leaders allow me to do so and i will do maintanence at island breeze between april and september because if i was cooking nobody would be eating meat for six months my kitchen would be vegetarian exclusive so i would probably not be allowed to be the cook because it would upset my moral stand like if i assist in killing animals then its the same as eating them like their blood is on my hands its as bad as killing jesus i still have music wars only this time its in my bedroom not in the kitchen correction its not my bedroom its a shared room so i have to learn to avoid music which is offensive to the general assembly i dont know what im going to do today i looked at some of robyns photos i hope i get some emails ill come back later to check im only planning to stay online for the next ten minutes then ill give it up for somebody else to use my fingers are feeling tired today and my brain is fried to the point of exhaustion i just dont know what to do with myself it was cool looking at photos i wonder what i will be doing in byron bay seeing as i dont have a band anymore i guess i will just have to do some song writing over the weekend so i can be prepared for the week ahead maybe i could ask my parents to bring me some paper and pens because i spent all my money so i hope they can help me out i always waste my cash money just slips through my fingers there are ants crawling all over the place attracted by the sweet sugar rush of blood to the head did you hear what i said i think i am less pink eyed than i was last week but i still feel tired and sleepy and it is such a temptation to rub my eyes when they are sore and itchy all the time i guess i had better get off so the next user can spend some time staring at the screen i must take the time to talk to all the solomon islands people who got back yesterday now i think i will sit downstairs and outside under the trees with the birds singing in my ears sipping mountain dew and reading the bible its a wonderful life i read half the old testament without realising what i was doing biting off more than i can chew i read time and newsweek last night and all the minor prophets in the old testament while i was listening to sevendust and smashing pumpkins and coco lee destinys child 3lw and beyonce knowles and then kyle played some gospel music i forget the name of the artist but it was old school and groovy baby yeah i think maybe it will soon be time to relinquish control of the computer maybe i will come back later after lunch for now im taking care of business i did absolutely nothing last night i drank coffee i read magazines i listened to music that was it nothing exciting there was worship music upstairs half the time i was reading maqazines the rest of the time i was paying attention to gods presence some of the people went to three monkeys afterwards jason ben and trevor were the guitar playing trio now i will leave because i see people hovering wanting to get on but not willing to kick me in the pants thats awful nice of them god is good all the time smile jesus loves you party people wave your hands in the air like you just dont care theres got to be more to life than this there has got to be a reason why gods love exists i hope i get to watch some movies today maybe i will try to call my parents after lunch god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone your friend in the fridge :)  ¶ 4:31 PM

  drinking coffee shaky fingers waiting for class to start everybody is praying for everybody else they have got their groups they dont need me its one of those lets pray for base to be delivered from demons days i dont know what to do with my time i had a good weekend last night we went to see brother yuan he talked about being in a camp in burma because he had a double identity to protect himself when travelling in communist countries i must read the heavenly man book i have spent the last couple of days as a ghost in the shell hidden away from the world just listening to music all the time my nose is itching but this is how i keep my fingers from scratching my snotholes i have five minutes to type this and then i have to go back to class if i die i will leave behind lots of memories on the computer screen i dont know if anybody will bother to read this but if they do im sure they will have a good time well i dont know what to say because nothing has happened yet today i woke up got dressed had a shower sang a couple of songs while the water was saturating my skin and i was all soaped up and lubricated ready to win there has to be more to life than this i told myself as the water trickled down my body and fell into the drain spilling droplets on the tiles stuck in this vile semi charmed kind of life its alright i dont care i got a new girlfriend and her name is fe divinia gracia and she lives in the philippines well i guess its more like an email buddy like a pen pal for the next generation but id like to meet her face to face that would be cool i want to help my friend prina out because everybody is saying nasty things about her and this other girl khia but i guess praying for them is the best thing rather than offering advice which doesnt help to change the situation i went to the art gallery on the weekend so my wishes for today is that this time next year fe and me will be married with children and that my best friend will quit getting harrassed for just trying to help and being a friend with this girl who other people have a problem with but really nothing is out of the ordinary i love spending time with my friends maybe soon i will see movies on a boat with them maybe i will go home this weekend that will be a good experience maybe i will send fe a love poem every day then she will know the way i feel about her is for real how do i deal with love and devotion feelings and emotions if you love somebody you have to set them free but that just sounds like a poetic excuse for being a player to me i was supposed to see sylvia with my friends but then they had to clean their rooms there is no bitterness i still got to see some wonderful student artwork i got to go back to class now peace and mad love to yall homies worldwide shine for jesus love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone :)  ¶ 3:17 PM

  sometimes i feel like i dont know what to do with my life like im faced with all these possibilities and i dont know where to go i wonder where i will be this time next year will i still be here i dont think so i dont know if i could survive long term missions on my own i like going short term missions with a team but still i feel like im alone with everybody its hard to explain the way i feel i wonder what i will do today i have work duties i have to make sure the upstairs area is neat and tidy i feel so weak inside i havent done a good job at fasting i havent spent much time with god this week i read isaiah the other day but i was supposed to read jeremiah yesterday and i didnt i played scrabble with joy it was fun to talk to her i like making new friends joy is from georgia ramish wanted to play scrabble with me but then he gave up when daniel wanted to play ping pong with him there is daniel from melbourne daniel from sweden and daniel from australia which is me its so weird to have three daniels at the same time well thats enough of an ego trip i was wrong joy is from ohio destiny is from georgia i always get peoples stories mixed up inside my head i like talking to the disco girls they are full of exuberance and jubilation i will be here for as long as i am allowed to be here even if i have nothing to say it is good to take time to reminesce to reflect back on where i have been in order to know where i am going tomorrow i am going to see slyvia with prina at the movies and we are also going to an art gallery there is a map of the world on the wall i am tired and hungry i made up names for the swarm characters i need to spend more time with god swarm cartoons is like happy locusts who do good stuff for the community they are going to make another mural and maybe a short cartoon film i dont know about my names i just said the first things that came into my head i did find a good passage about fasting in isaiah that says fasting gods way is caring for others which is interesting because gods view of fasting is totally different from my false perception i wonder if i will ever get over my persecution complex i should be doing work duties today i will try to clean up as best i can but i dont see the sense in vacuuming and mopping every single day especially when the vacuum cleaner doesnt even work maybe i will do the mopping again if the floor is seriously dirty yesterday i ran all the way to the phone to get prinas number off mum and dad and she was trying to call me to talk to me when i was trying to talk to them so i had a little chat to mum and dad then ran all the way back to base and talked to prina an hour later about school and work and life i am going to a missionary dinner for marlene my missionary friend with my parents heavily involved in supporting missions financially i will be the only one not eating as far as i know maybe they will let me sit in a corner and read a book or something i havent been very active this week just because ive been feeling so physically weak that im not my best and i feel a little worse for wear i told prina my website address and how to access it is cool because i can talk to my family and friends by posting messages for them to see later even if it is online for all the world to see i dont even know if anybody looks at my website apart from me i guess its a good way to stay up to date i dont even know what i did yesterday katie was kind enough to get me some music magazines from the shops in the city i did absolutely nothing no jobs no helping hands were offered by me i was just fat and lazy raving and rambling on the couch all day long i like to stretch out conversations for the longest possible time i went to bed at three thirty am and i woke up sometime around eight forty like just in time for meetings we saw a loren cunningham video about walking in the opposite spirit mikala spilled my water i had a drink of milo downstairs mikala is a good dancer so is mary and rachel all the dancers are going out for dinner tonight everybody seems to be going out for meals on the week im fasting i know its not done deliberately its just an awful coincidence now i will get off the computer in ten minutes time there are probably other people who need to use it more than i do i dont know what to do with my life its full of troubles and strife my shoes are stinky i should have worn socks today but if i have smelly socks then im in the same boat my plane is to read jeremiah today and as many other books of the bible as i can possibly read if i work hard today i will be able to have a nice holiday tomorrow i didnt really pay attention during lectures we were praying for byron bay i lent my jebediah cd to joshua because hes a big fan of punk and emo i categorically deny my style is pidgeonholed i dont know what to do with the rest of today i have so much time on my hands if i had money i would get all the comics in the newsagents and just spend the whole day perusing them but unfortunately i dont have that luxury now i am going out beyond the call of duty beyond the shadows of gravity into the shadowlands of my soul it is funny when you are fasting you tend to think about food more than usual i was blessed with some apple juice from jordan last night that was gods providence because i was desperately needed something other than coffee and tea and milk and sugar to keep me alive i think im getting writers cramp lunch time will give me more time to read the bible i need to use my time more wisely i must remember to do my jobs today i must have friends who keep me accountable when im slacking off in my duties i have to stop stealing cordial i should buy some when i get some money the next movies i want to see are big fish and pieces of april but before i go to the movies again i want to get trickys albums for juxtaposed and pre millenium tension so then my collection will be complete oh yes i need nearly god too i almost forgot about that one im looking forward to seeing the sylvia plath movie with my good friend prina i hope that there are lots of cool pictures at the art gallery god is good all the time god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone :)  ¶ 6:30 PM

  today we had a time of repentance in class i must remember to phone prina because she wants to talk to me maybe i will go to the art gallery with her on the weekend that will be cool its been a while since i got to have a good conversation with my best friend i said sorry to mark for my jealousy of his abilities and i didnt exactly confess my desire for an sr specifically but i sort of beat around the bush what i was thinking of was whoever causes one of these little ones to sin should have a millstone cast around his neck and thrown into the sea it really hit me that i was doing bad things by pursuing a special relationship with a girl who was only a new born christian i feel like scum i dont want to wallow in self pity though i dont know what im going to do today im supposed to do hospitality again i dont understand why the room needs to be vacuumed and mopped every day but i guess that mud collects on the tiles so it has to be removed by force not willingly kind of like my attitude i only do work when you put a gun to my head and make me do it i will go home on sunday night because i want to hang out with prina on saturday i havent been able to chill out with her for a couple of weeks it will be good to hear all her news from melbourne and canberra and to talk face to face the reason why im waffling is because im brain dead and i have nothing to talk about pretty soon i will leave so that the poor people waiting for a computer to use will be happy i was alive and breathing now im tired and hungry i have to do house keeping upstairs today i need to get a band aid for my elbow maybe i will help out noah with his problem if he wants my help but i dont know how useful i can be i feel convicted about stealing cordial from the base in lei i kind of took it for granted that i would have permission to drink cordial i asked a couple of times and then i just helped myself now i cant seem to stop picking my nose i just dig in the crevices until my snot holes are completely obliterated i still struggle with pride there is no easy answers even when i look in the mirror i find it difficult to see past my shame i think the video should have taken account for freaks like me who dont talk to people because they cant form the words they want to speak its not because i dont want to but sometimes i struggle with simple human conversation i run out of things to say i forget the things people tell me i ask the same questions of the same people every day and i dont ever remember the answers i should stop wallowing in self pity oh woe is me im alive and breathing so what life is good i should be happy so why do i feel so sad why does my heart feel so bad maybe the problem is that im tired and hungry and im praying and fasting and i couldnt feel less spiritual if i tried jesus is lord god is good all the time we had lots of praying and confessing going on today we watch a floyd mc clung video on pride it was heart warmingly honest now i will phone my parents so i can get a number to phone my friend i hope all my homies out there in virtual reality have a nice day smile jesus loves you god bless love zombiefleshthemoonfaceone :)  ¶ 8:00 PM

  in the middle of the night :
pink eyes wandering through the landscape of memory
talking to myself
walking round in circles]
i was feeling like a fool
now im trading all my tools
and im swimming in a pool
of my own blood
do you feel the way i do
do you know what im going through
i dont think so you dont know
nobody knows the way i feel
im pink eyes im in disguise
im the result of too many excuses
cholestreol is petrol for my juices
now ive got to tell you
the way you make me feel
im sorry for my sins
guess i never spit the real deal
can you help me to unwind
dont you know you blow my mind
ive been looking out of the box
outside where the wind blows
little fish nibble on my toes
now im paying through the nose
im sick of reality
battling this thug mentality
i cant stop being me
so maybe ill be you instead
wont you ever get out of my head
all these thoughts and feelings
too many voices in the darkness
calling me towards the window
im climbing out the window
im running for my life
im looking for a way out
dont know what im talking about
is this the problem with getting up early
is this the problem with living every day
could you believe any thing i say
when i cant look in your face
and you know liars always turn away
they cant look you in the eyes
and im a little liar
a bird up on your wire
did i ever inspire
with my depressing songs
did i ever find the fire
fight the future
all night long
til the morning comes
i love to run
as fast as you can
catch me if you can
im the gingerbread man
im desperate dan
im a man in a garbage can
see im marked and stained
you can find me down the drain
i got bugs in my brain
think im going insane
take a ride on this crazy train
as i go against the grain
just to prove im not insane
im just driving you up the wall
changing lanes hey yall
i changed my style
popped my collar
im going to leap and holler
do you know why i feel so small
i cant walk before i crawl
pink eyes pink eyes
wake up from my bed
in the middle of the night
i get out of my head
do you want to tell me whats wrong
do you want to put your life in a song
do you want to tell me whats wrong
do you want to find love
where only hate belongs
i was looking for the underground sound
i was gagged and bound
willing to break free
prisoner of society
victim of conformity
blame it on me
god is bigger than my problems
god is bigger than my problems
god is bigger than my problems
i want to break out
wash away worry and doubt
see the way i pout
with my hands on my hips
when i dont get my own way
there is gonna be temper tantrums
there is gonna be ranting and raving
barking at the moon
acting like an animal
im a dog chasing my tail
im afraid of what you think of me
im afraid that love is ecstacy
these pieces of april are breaking in three
connected infected by trinity perfected
divinity of eclectic wits
now im just another twit]
trying to make it in this cold cruel world
do you know the way i feel
can you tell me whats the deal
kelis sing sweet song in my ears
give me a milkshake
that tastes like tears
i was alone in the darkness
i lost my way
cant find my way back
i lost my way
im going home
in a couple of days
gonna have a good weekend
gonna take along some friends
gonna party all the time
gonna make my life a rhyme
now im pink eyes now im pink eyes
now im pink eyes for yall girls and boys
better be quiet
hush up its too late to make noise
fush ya mang shut your mouth
from the north to the east
from the west to the south
compass points rocking the joint
spinning in all directions
grits got the mad funky hip hop
gospel rapper rhymes i drop
jesus is lord like a cherry on top
its what i need to make my life sweet
gods what i need to make my life complete
jesus save our souls
soon im dancing in the street
zombie flesh the moon face one
vegetables instead of meat
replacement killers
the basement thrillers
and nobody is iller
will the skills of the skillet spiller
no use crying over spilled milk
and im taking too much time
and thats my biggest crime
and im rubbing salt in your wounds
that you thought time would heal
i kneel down to steal your crown
want to tear the buildings down
you know you are worth your salt
why is everything my fault
now im falling
in and out of love
on the rollercoaster ride of love
guess what i want to do
is protect you from me
so thats why i hide my identity
under beanies and hoodies
its an oldie but a goodie
the kind of song you like to hear
where i am calling you my dear
and god will help you face your fears
if you just learn to let go
of all that keeps on holding you back
from reaching your full potential
my rhyme style is existential
putting pen to the pencil
from the streets to the jail cell
from the beats in my brain cells
try to make sense of all this snow
now i dont know
what im trying to say
i just lost my train of thought
now im a toad covered in warts
i could use some moral support
got pink eyes
in the middle of the night]
word to the wise
wont you open up your eyes]
now im wearing a disguise]
you really took me by surprise]
now i dont need that surcharge
im riding on the barge
on the public motor vehicle]
having a good time
speeding fast as the boat will carry me
over the waves and far away
on a rocky bumpy boat ride]
that gets us there ok]
it doesnt matter anyway
im drifting out through space
im a rocket in your pocket
waiting to launch
gaining a paunch
like a spare tyre for my packed lunch
now i have to watch what im saying
been too long delaying my flight
waking up in the middle of the night
trying to lay down my rights
now baby dont turn off the lights
im looking for my tweezers
its just like lemon squeezers
now im talking chalk and cheeses
lay down my rights for jesus
do i ever keep my promises]
im bursting at the seams
can you listen to my screams
im creaming in my dreams
im steaming like a kettle
inspired by hip hop and death metal
a strange brew of odd couples
that dont get along
fighting for control
of mind body and soul
throw a little bit of reggae in the mix
and you got the dancehall pikelet mix
when im living in the sticks
burned the wick of my candle
life of mine so hard to handle
burning the midnight lamp again
now you thought it was easy
but you know its not
all the rules and regulations
i so quickly forgot
could i ever break the casket
i wont never crack the market
youre so clever you can do it
maybe you know who this is
girl crazy violent and lazy
birth control baby
botched abortion
hopscotched vocal distortion
the local importion
of crazy miss fortune
giving me the creeps
avoiding food and sleep
until i see your face again
i was telling it like it is
looking for a way out of my situation
bring me down with gravity
magnetic fields taking liberties
poetic license
represent for my jesus freaks
my pathetic violence
lashing out against society
punching holes in the walls
my worst enemy is me
now i cant decide
whether i want to be funny or serious
so i try to be both
and it doesnt work
im just a jerk
kicking against the pricks
in this big machine
which makes me sick
now im pink eyes on the microphone
zombiefleshthemoonfaceone
on the microphone never leave it alone
im looking outside
seeking endless summer vibes
do you think ill make it in time
see im always late to class
go to the head of the class
i found my face at the bottom of my glass
reflected the cold hard perspective
of an empty twisted worldview
cold and nihilistic
the man in the mirror
the man on the moon
vocal ballistics
blasting off into outer space
vocal about my past
but the good times never last
i forgot i had all this space
to use the end i never chase
forgot i had all this space
to use its so sweet to the taste
forgot i dont have much time
now im slowly but surely wasting away
mad dogs with blind eyes chasing me
demon dogs keep chasing me
round the corner down the street
demon dogs pursuing me
spewing freak
dancing to the crazy beat
if it was possible to break free
then why am i still a prisoner
havent seen the sunshine
in what seems like a longtime
havent seen the sunshine
in what feels like a million years
im drowning in dream land
i dont understand
why nobody loves me
everybody shoves me
in pidgeon holes
lock up my soul
make me feel trapped
im a prisoner
my body under wraps
try to break out
before i freak out
it always looks like
permanent daylight
the lights are so bright
my room is sound proof
my soul is fire proof
i bite the bullet tooth
im just a regular goof ball
looking for a way out
of all this worry and doubt
im going away
im not coming back again
going away
not coming back again
going away
not coming back again
wasting all my time and money
now i feel cold not clever
further seems forever
the distance to travel
before my world unravels
and im just a game of scrabble
away from all the rabble
in rhymes i dabble
got a ticket to travel
on the glory train
i got a ticket to ride
on the other side of dawn
im just human spawn
one of the children of the corn
praise the lord cause im reborn
i count my blessings every morn
burn to shine from dusk to dawn
when the shadows cross my lawn
i was chasing down the dawn
fight the filth of furys scorn













































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































i was lost in the wilderness












































  ¶ 2:33 PM

  dear diary im listening to bare du by my friend gunnliek it is norweigan worship music i had a good morning tea time i didnt cheat on my fasting today i had some milo and coffee and liptons black tea which is exceptionally tasty last night iwas privileged to watch x men two with my friends what basically happens is the good mutants who just want to live in peaceteam up with the bad mutants who want to kill all humans because this mad scientist played by the dude from pie inthe sky wants to register all mutants so it will be easier to trackthem down proffessor x runs a school for gifted youngsters that is really like a safety house for mutants im tryingto find the christian parallels in this movie i guess we are kind of like good mutants if we are jesusfreaks and there are those christians who really believe and thenthere are those who are nominals but those whowere evil were sincere about their nastiness so i dont think that is the interpretation i should be making from this movie i know that good always overcomes evilexcept in swordfish where the reverse effect happened but that was a rare occassion that doesnt happen all that often this music is so loud its making my ears bleed i had a goodsleep last night i will be fasting until monday morning to make it aweek to compensate for the mistakes i made yesterday there are ants crawling all over the desk methinks sugar cubes were consumed in this vicinity it will be coolto go home on the weekend now iremember my password i will not forget it again im so glad the computer has a better memory than me thankyou blogger i will not forget again thankyou jesus for making it possible for us to be free from sin bydying on the cross and saving our souls from death and hell i dont care if i sound like a fundamentalist creep i will always be a jesus freak because jesus is the miracle maker and jesus lives in my heart we watched a lot of dean sherman videos today they were talking about sex and relationships and how fornication is wrong and why not just blindly acceptingthe facts like sheep with steel wool and cold hearts but looking foranswers in the world around us you can learn a lot of life lessons from talking to people about their lives where do we go from here i miss papua new guinea it was so cool over there everybody was warm and friendly this dude on the plane asked to be seated next to somebody else the cheek of him wanting me to move i did try to shut up and not sing but its hard to resist when i love to sing all the time im a jukebox kid and its annoying not being provided free music on virgin blue when qantas lets you listen to the radio i should be so lucky i will stay here until this album runs out of tracks but i wont be talking here for too long today i just overcompensated before because it had been a while since updates and i still have to talk about all the stuff we did in papua new guinea we did a lot of jumping off rocks and we went to schools and churches and fish factories it was heaps of fun and we learned a lot from the people we visited i will try to retain all the negative and positive things that happened i have to accentuate the positive to eliminate the negative and dont mess with mr inbetween i feel happy to be back in australia we stayed in lei madang and kar kar and kranget island i think i will probably go back to png with islandbreeze maybe i will do my bls at carbrook bls means basic leadership studies the numbers are gathering future users are requesting free spaces to occu-py in the absence of healthy alternatives now im not very patient either but im a survivor dont let the hard timesget you down ok hang in there keep your head up i miss my friends and family i cant hardly wait to come home gerwinsgonna come with me its going to be a good weekend it is cool to make new friends i hope i can be friends with the new disco people i have to make an effort to make conversation i cant leave all the questions and answers for everybody else now there is no place i can run and hide from the real world i love to make new friends i dont know what to think i had fun in papua new guinea we had lots of sing sings but t hey say it takes six weeksto learn the language and we were only there for five so it wasnt long enough to learn the language properly i dont know what to do with my next coupl.e of weeks here i am making too many spelling mistakes oh dear my site looks so horrible when i keep on messing up my mind is all over the place today im not making any dollarsand cents god is good all the time that is why im busting rhymes i dont know if i will be able to rap for the new disco girls andboys maybe if there is spare time during lunchtime we have to be back in class at two pm so i still have time to kill its all good in t he hood i hope i get plenty of emails i wish i had my friends here i wish my friends would visit me its not like they are overseas well my best friend prina is in melbourne i hope her dad wins hiscourt case one of myfriends sarah is in canberra but most of my ywam buddies from last year are currently busy overseas i think i should probably get off soon so nobody gets mad at me for taking up too much time on the computer its a free for all up here but maybe it is easier to get time on the computer when everyone else is eating thats not very spiritual but its the best logic i can come up with there are ants crawling all over the place pretty soon i will log out of this website i like making new friends i like vegieburgers i think i will go to hungry jacks again when my fast is over since that was the last food i ate before i started this i think my body is too weak to do a forty day fast but maybe i will do one when i am on island breeze i just need to eat heaps of food before hand so my body has enough fat so my stomach can eat itself and have a snack when im fasting like my belly gets food from itself when im not giving it any you know what im saying the world keeps on turning like planes im crashing and burning living and learning dean sherman is telling us about relationship advice like dont have sex til you tie the knot because sex outside of marriage makes you feel guilty and it messes with your head i dont know how to avoid special relationships except for hiding in my bedroom where nobody can see me but god that is my hidden place of privacy lurking deep inside my heart i can hear half of what is being said but maybe what i think makes sense to me is really another kind of logic altogether something always gets lost in translation i think i should probably give up now in the interests of public safety i have had a good run and somebody else deserves a turn on the spinning wheel of electric impulses this wonderful world wide web that sucks me up into this orbit until i am utterly consumed dazed and confused lost in a maze of virtual reality this ghost world which occupies my thoughts and feelings im either thinking about god girls or farm animals we talked about poo marriage and the future all the time on outreach t hose were the three most popular topics god bless you all shiny happy people may god have mercy on your souls peace out from zombiefleshthemoonfaceone :)  ¶ 7:02 PM

  here i am back in australia it has been a long time since i last posted and i dont know how i managed to get back here but praise the lord that my diary still exists and somehow i got back into my own website yay ok so i just come back from papua new guinea and it was a whole lot of fun i got nothing to do until seven thirty pm where we are having a big sing sing upstairs the purpose for this is the death of shabbat so we have to create our own version and do it every day i ran to the phone on blackwood street there was an argument between a ywamer and some random dude i decided not to get involved and used the phone at the railroad station instead my problem is i tried to phone the philippines and it was either engaged or the wrong number i hope it was engaged i will try again when i get some more money but mum and dad gave me fifty bucks so i wont be cashed up for a while i got five bucks worth of chuppa chupps for the disco and beach to bush people i didnt get them for everybody because i didnt have enough so i just gave eight to each team i saw the movie called the passion of jesus christ the other day my parents commanded me to see it mum and dad picked me up from the airport it was a whole heap of fun i saw jesus dying on the cross it moved me to tears i dont know how anybody can watch that movie without crying the most freaky parts of the movie was a woman with a demon baby the devil as a woman in hell and the mocking thief on the cross getting his eyes plucked out plus the demon possessed kids who chased judas there was a lot of freaky weird stuff in that movie and jesus had dilated pupils when he died i think most of it was biblical the other day i listened to music joshua from discos collection he was on sports but he came back to do it twice i listened to emo punk and worship music and i read nehemiah esther job psalms and proverbs and today i read ecclesiastics and song of songs and i got gunnlieks cd after promising to buy it for the last couple of months i will probably read some more of the bible when i finish off my writing pad i intend to fill it with poems if i can find some time to rhyme the best place is under the trees where there are lots of birds singing sweet songs in my earholes i dont know what to say we had a community meeting in the morning and we had a big singalong we had a funtime we did plays of what we did on outreach my team decided to do the chicken skit version where we talk about something and we keep interrupting with weird stuff like norweigans preachers dogs and ninjas and the other teams did the whole beauty treatment cucumbers on your eyes thing for malaysia they played the whats the time mister wolf game and for solomons team rice they did a lovely skit which involved tap dancing and boat rides and accidentally walked into pubs which also doubled as brothels and being sick and having late boat rides and the other solomon islands team had lots of arguments and preaching and chickens that wake you up in the morning i must remember to update my diary on a regular basis i will not make the other users wait too long the problem is i forgot my password so that is why this took such a long time i am alive and breathing god is good all the time now im sitting down thinking about what i did today oh i slept in my bed last night the other night i slept on the couch and made a flower decoration out of ben i got him holding a fork and spoon and laid some wire flowers on his chest like he was dead or eating dinner or something and i draped a washing up flannel on his head like habib or when you get a headache there is much work going on outside the window i opted out of brick shifting my job is cleaning up after dinner same as usual im boring and i dont like to over exert myself i took the lazy option like usual i told myself i would be fasting this week but i cheated at morning tea by having an iced bun and some olive bread like foccocia bread it was so good but i felt so bad afterwards so im going to do monday fasting to make it a full week i have to explain to my parents that i will be coming home i will be watching television but i wont be eating this weekend mum and dad said i could invite friends over it makes me kind of sad that the new people who see us as new people wont be here long enough to get to know them properly but at least the last four weeks will be fun and games and much happiness all next week we are going to be recording albums in byron bay i am going to do a half hour rap to a breakbeat track it is going to be totally random drums and guitar solos and talking over the top i hope i can rhyme fast enough to do the right thing i hope i get lots of emails i hope i can get through to the philippines i tried to phone this girl called fe i made friends in a chatroom called cool talk thats why i got messed up with passwords there is always too many names and numbers for me to remember on the internet i dont even know how im going to kill time for the rest of today i went down to the shops but i never go to brookside im too lazy i just stick to the shops on blackwood street i called my parents for something to do i talked to my sister i pray she is the best employee again she likes to be top of the food chain i dont blame her i hope her boss is not picking on her anymore i pray that god will look after my sister this week as a beauty therapist and a human being mum said her feet are feeling better now dad seems to be in perfect health the other disco will be back in a couple of weeks maybe we will be here to see them return i hope i can make friends with the new disco and beach to bush people some of them came to do mission building in maintanence and cooking so i got to make friends like that so we did dramas today in the morning i dont know if they were fully fledged but it was good for a laugh i pretended i was a pirate with a coin in my eye but of course i lack the parrot on my shoulder and the coin keeps falling out my eye so it doesnt really work the way i planned i was not planning to do anything today i am happy to be alive and breathing i think i will rhyme for a bit because i feel too brain dead to do anything else im lying in the sunshine talking to myself thinking about papua new guinea girls god peanut butter and jelly sandwiches earthlings we are now taking over your stereo i dont know how to hold on or let go play some scrabble go on join the rabble im an individual just like everybody else listen to me babble i dont think i will ever break free im a prisoner of society can you feel me complaining the blood and fire is raining down on me my enemies are gaining on me im going to read the bible and listen to cds on this dog day afternoon my mind is bending spoons i told myself i cant decide between eminem incubus and missy elliot or kellis what cd to get from the shops so i took the lazy option and bought gunnlieks cd instead i dont know how i feel about girls i try to be faithful to them but then i dont know if they are interested in me and i wonder whats the use but maybe if i hold out then ill make it through just like degrassi high hey you know i wonder if im a holy man like eddie murphy or just playing god like jim carrey and not doing a good enough job yeah id probably give tokyo a monsoon too or at least have a battle between mothra and godzilla im a big fan of monster movies and ice cream smoothies i like girls who are groovy i like white girls with dredlocks or black girls who can dance and sing with sweet smooth harmonic vocals why do i always like girls who have boyfriends or girls who hate my guts there has to be a girl out there who is beautiful and intelligent regardless of colour or creed who wants me back hey i thought i got lucky last year with tigist but it was my own stupid fault for not staying in touch i was afraid to send money overseas because there is no way my parents would ever let me pursue an overseas relationship ok thats just my excuse the truth is im faithless the wonder boy like i thought it would be easy to keep the faith with abby but then suddenly i am confronted by hot girls on beach to bush and disco i guess thats why i want to hide in my room and read a lot of books this week i will be praying and fasting i have to ask god to forgive me for my sins i promised my friend i would say good things about her on my website so prina if you are reading this you are my best friend and even though i suck at relationships and being a christian thanks for never giving up on me you have been my friend through thick and thin you are tenacious and strong and courageous and i appreciate your mums curry and your dads deep biblical discussions of the truth about islam your family had to escape from persecution you are more brave than i could ever be i am glad that you are my friend i would rather talk to the living than have conversations with dead people but most of my poems seem to be about talking to my exgirlfriends or talking about my homeboy who got stabbed in the back of the neck aidan may you rest in peace god bless the dead why do the good homies always have to die there are a few theories going round that tupac got popped by suge knight and kurt cobain got killed by courtney love according to my friend when is suicide homicide when you switch around a few letters on the scrabble board sometimes im bored with life i want to kill myself but im too lazy i dont want to jump off a bridge i just want to drink coffee until i drown in caffeine soaked delirium now im just joking its already past my bedtime i guess i had better give up the computer to somebody with something important to say god bless you earthlings mad love jesus is lord hugs and kisses from zombiefleshthemoonfaceone yall come back now ya hear :) pressing dunce hat to the wall to hear the sound of trumpets blowing the voices in my head are climbing up the walls again   ¶ 10:02 PM