pretty soon im going to be retiring from the internet i think i am addicted to computers and television im going to fast for thirty days from food and tv cause i think i need to get closer to god i have seen lots of movies in the past three weeks bourne supremacy the terminal and a shark tale prina came to see me yesterday im not going to open mike night cause i have no way of getting there prina is my only hope of transportation i offered to pay cash for petrol im still waiting for a reply there are heaps of new chicks and dudes on base mad and disco schools are starting tomorrow beach to bush is coming back next month i miss those guys and girls heaps i hope they are having a good time i guess i dont update this website as often as i should because my life is boring so i dont feel motivated to do anything when i go home i watch movies with my family that is fun and enjoyable we have some good times together cause we all like to watch the same thing when we go to the movies even if we watch different tv shows i saw black hawk down last night the usa was trying to solve a domestic dispute between north and south somalia and one of the black hawks went down i was drifting in and out of sleep the whole time the movie went for four hours lately i have begun an internet relationship with a girl named cassie mc coll she is native american indian she is sixteen and she is on a debating team and she likes rock and roll and alternative music and she believes in jesus but she doesnt go to church i dont know exactly what to think it feels like im stranded on a desert island its a self destructive pattern always being torn between two or three or four lovers so you never make up your mind about anything so thats the way im feeling right now starting a new relationship and not wanting to finish the old ones either i am stuck in the middle see my problem i dont want to hurt anybodys feelings so i keep on lying and my tangled web gets me in a sticky mess im digging myself into a deeper hole i think i was deeply affected by the visit of mary liew she gave me a table cloth but i think she loves yoshi thats ok good luck to them and their future together they deserve one another i have problems with commitment i try but im not good at it so today i tried to make up with tigist while pursuing a relationship with prinas best friend sonya who she knows since they were little kids she is twenty two and she is pretty in pink i have sent her three or four emails and im still waiting for reply thats ok im so desperate and dateless i love any girl who loves me back and all these new disco and mad girls are super cool and cute too but mad and disco and beach to bush girls are hands off it is easier to have morals when there is no question of them being jeopardised but it is harder when i have to put my money where my mouth is i know i said a month ago that i wouldnt be interested in these girls but i must be careful not to talk too much to them one on one that is the key then i can stop myself from falling in love so i think i have a relationship with cassie i dont know if tigist still loves me and i love sonya but im still waiting to hear back from her so when i have confirmation i can make up my mind it is difficult for me to let go when i have a past with somebody and i hope that we have a future together but i really dont know it is easier for me to relate to girls who are my friends cause the girls i fall in love with rarely love me back thats the way life is but im not playing innocent or hard to get i am guilty as hell when it comes to relationships cause im scared of commitment no its not that im scared of commitment i just keep on over commiting myself im a serial monogamist i dont know how to just be friends with girls so i get in too deep so for the record i love sonya and i love cassie maybe i love cassie as a friend and i love sonya as a possibly maybe girlfriend cause i dont know yet what the situation is cause ive only just met her so i cant expect anything to happen yet but heres hoping fingers crossed that something does happen between us god bless love daniel :) smile jesus loves you if any of my mad or disco friends is reading this please pray for my soul cause its going down the gurgler i am so desperate and dateless i feel sick and tired of all this loneliness chatrooms is cool it helps beat the loneliness but i crave flesh and blood interaction with the opposite sex and relationships that go somewhere so i dont get stuck in the middle of nowhere peace out god bless love from zombiefleshthemoonfaceone
  ¶ 9:36 PM

  today i got some music from brookside christina milian its about time and yellowcard ocean avenue check out www.christinamilian.com and www.yellowcard.com for more details i was going to get nellys new two albums sweat and suit but i was two dollars short there is swarm cafe tonight if we play music and games it should be interesting i entered a poetry competition twice cause the first time my poem was too long they say i can only enter it once a month but thats ok by me i woke up in the morning and rubbed the sleep from my eyes i think the chemicals are all gone now thats a good thing i was washing the car and i think i got some polish in my eyes arthur was at the shops he got bob marley the reason why i got yellowcard was because it comes with a free trucker cap i got my photo taken for my website next week there is going to be a mini dts with some local students participating in a fun filled week of gospel entertainment there will be a different speaker every day so thats seven speakers in one week and this all starts on sunday we had pasta and egg salad for lunch cooked by jordan and lara and it tasted delicious as always one of the computers has a solar eclipse for a screen saver the other two are snowy day with a pine tree and this one is a castle with lots of trees i am not going to go to singles websites anymore they are dangerous places i will also stay away from any websites with pictures of girls mum gave me seven eggs on the weekend i gave one of them to justin and he gave me an encouragement note i got one yellow note one green note and some jelly beans last night i looked up bjork lil kim and jennifer lopez online as well as radiohead which keeps on changing its site so thats www.bjork.com www.jenniferlopez.com and www.radiohead.com for anyone who cares i love music i love girls i love jesus and i really need a girlfriend i have a friend who lives on the gold coast maybe i will see her again at schoolies week her name is rachel barnes i hope that it is ok for mission builders to go to impact summer i need to get the code to use the phones on base again she is in year twelve and she loves elmo and she plays guitar enough said shes a funky chick shes a cool girl i just wish she was here but i can always visit the gold coast its only a train ride away :)
  ¶ 11:34 PM

  i dont know why i dont do this often enough i guess its because i have no signs that anybody reads this so until i get some feedback im going to keep on being lazy about the way i do entries in my online diary because i dont know if anybody is reading this so i dont have any motivation to try harder i should pray more and eat less we had toasted cheese and tomato soup for lunch it was delicious morning tea was apples and oranges and lots of yummy sweet and savoury cakes there is no excuse for my behaviour i promise from now on that if not every day i will at least make updates on my website once a week just for the sake of keeping the peace in case there is anybody who actually reads this junk that i write here and post online i guess im suffering from a lack of motivation oh well thats alright plenty more fish in the sea ive been trying to find virtual love but it isnt working out the way i planned i dont know why i think that anybody is going to be interested when i dont even have a photo in my profile i guess girls get tired of waiting for something i cant deliver i dont know what to do about that im going to clean the office later on today ive been having a good time slacking off lately i think im addicted to pornography and singles websites i need to stay away from the internet or only use it to look up song lyrics and check my emails that is pure purposes instead of getting involved with all this dirty stuff i guess im just a sucker for banner ads that is what sucks me in every time im going to be mission building for six months then im going to new zealand when other people are praying i should be praying too or at least not stuffing my gob full of morning tea what is wrong with me in future i will only lend money to people who can afford to pay me back it makes logical sense and it only makes me angry when i dont get money back when im surviving on a budget anyway i cant afford to be broke as a joke every week because im just feeding my animals otherwise im just aiding a problem to which there is no solution cause borrowing money to pay back debts is just a vicious cycle and im too proud to beg cash from my friends when ive given all my money away to somebody else anyway enough about that i dont want to die of bitterness and old age there is too much venom in me today this girl online decides she wants to hook up with somebody else shes not interested in my virtual kisses and smiles oh well thats just my rotten luck plenty more fish in the sea better luck next time maybe it was not gods will i should stop chasing tail and wait for god to send the right woman across my path i must stay away from beach to bush girls because they are gods ladies so they are off limits and the same rule applies when mad and disco start up again no matter how pretty the girls are they are not here to be involved in special relationships but they are here to be missionaries i know i cant stop falling in and out of love all the time i have to learn to just be friends with girls and not get involved cause if i do that only causes more problems for me when i give girls gifts or love letters i get in trouble or i get a severe talking to from one of the leaders thats what always happens and its a bad habit that i need to break i dont want to die alone strangled by my telephone i need to read the bible more and spend less time on the internet i need to update my blogger site more often so much for the afterglow tell me something i dont know wasting time is my speciality judge me by the nature of your reality i want to make a rap album but i need beats to use for background sounds i need some music to rhyme along to so i can make it work out right i have been getting heaps of encouragement notes lately it makes me feel good when people say nice things about me and i hope that i wont let them down by not being what they want me to be or doing what they want me to do there are too many expectations and not enough responsibilities in my life most of the time i have nothing to do my beard is growing long and my bank account is prosperous ramesh owes me forty dollars he got a haircut and he wants people to call him melissa cause he thinks hell get a job round here if he pretends to be a woman ywam is an equal opportunity employer and its all volunteer nobody gets paid we pay to be here we pay for food and shelter and the reward is fun and fellowship and good times with mates whether we are leaders or students the pay off is the new friends that will last for a life time the beach to bush kids are playing sport every day they are busy people full of energy they exercise all the time today everybody was marching seven times around the building proclaiming the name of the lord and claiming mitchelton for jesus i dont know what to do with my life im looking forward to going to new zealand next year i love tigist she is my girlfriend she lives in ethiopia she hasnt sent me any letters yet but im sure she will eventually im sending her a calendar this month she is studying design technology in addis adeba in future i will be faithful to my girlfriend i will not cheat on her with anyone online or offline i must stay away from all temptations i wish tigist lived in australia it would be so much easier to be faithful and devoted that way if i had plenty of photos of her i wouldnt feel tempted to stray she is my girlfriend and she is beautiful and i love her very much i wish she was here one day im going back to africa i dont care how long it takes somehow im going to raise the finances and go back to ethiopia cause i miss my girlfriend and i feel so desperate and dateless and lonely and restless and nothing is going to take away my depression and unhappiness i only feel happy when i have a girlfriend and im with her all the time i have been single for too long i am a rotten apple i am the black sheep of the family there is never enough jobs for me to do round here i sent one letter to my friend ami in japan one letter to my friend rachael sam in png and the calendar to my girlfriend tigist in ethiopia the capital addis adeba most of my friends are girls thats just the way it is ive always been like that but it is neccessary to draw the line sometimes between friends and lovers so things dont get messed up so nothing gets in the way of friendship i hope my girlfriend sends me pictures that would make my life so much easier to bare i miss her so very much she is very precious to me she is the lady of my life and the girl of my dreams she wont reply to my emails cause shes too busy with school work but im sure i will get a letter from her in the school holidays i want to visit her in the school holidays so we can spend the most amount of time together maybe one day i will go back to africa i still want to go to malaysia and i might go back to png again it all depends what god wants to do with my life god is the potter and we are the clay we have to let god have his way with us if we want anything good to happen in our lives looks like somebody else wants to use the computer so id better get off now god bless love daniel aka zombiefleshthemoonfaceone :) smile jesus loves you god bless you all my friends who read this blog peace out you can do all things through christ who strengthens you philippians 4:13
  ¶ 8:23 PM